Annie's Mailbox®, May 3
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: My parents are not in good health. They live off their Social Security checks and take care of my 42-year-old disabled sister. My 38-year-old brother, "George," has a wife and children of his own, but still gets money from my parents. They've spent thousands of dollars on his cars, house down payments, etc.
George recently told my parents he has cancer and would like them to give him money so he can stay home with his children and live rent-free. He expects my par ...
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6 Comments | Post Comment
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Posted by: Cathy
Comment: #1
Sat May 3, 2008 12:42 PM
Re: Judith Fowler
Everyone is forgeting one important aspect, Where will teh parents live once the house is gone? As the responsible sibling, you can't just watch your parents go to assisted living or a nursing home. Exspecially since these places cost large sums of money each month, and are often dependant on the quality of your health to even be considered for their long waiting lists. "Tired" should consult not only an attorney, but the bank. It is entirely possible that her parents won;t qulify for a mortgage. The bank would be in the best knowledge of the financial concerns arising from the situation. No mortgage, no problem. Everyone lives happliy ignorant of any involvement by "Tired".
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Posted by: Al
Comment: #2
Sat May 3, 2008 2:07 PM
Re: AMAAMANEA
Amaamanea-you are dead right. Tell Tired to go at once to specialist in elderlaw. He can advise on reverse mortgage/home equity line of credit/life estate-anything that will keep them in their house along with the disabled sister. Those three individuals are the first priority.
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Posted by: AMAAMANEA
Comment: #3
Sat May 3, 2008 4:46 AM
Dear Annie,
You are off the mark with your answer to "Tired of the Drama" who's brother is tapping into his retired parents meager funds which would leave his disabled sister with little support when they die. The able sister who wrote should take mom and dad to an elder law attorney to protect her parents from the greedy son. They should also seek the assistance of an attorney who specializes in trusts to insure funding for her disabled sister's future. If mom won't go, Tired should encourage her father, who seems to be the most reasonable parent, to go alone. Since Tired will be the one to care for her sister she should step up to the plate now so that Sis is not eating crumbs in the future.
Been there, NJ
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Posted by: Judith Fowler
Comment: #4
Sat May 3, 2008 5:23 PM
Re: Cathy. You and the others are right. The responsible sibling should look into what's needed to protect the parents and disabled sister and do what she can for them.
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Posted by: Judith Fowler
Comment: #5
Sat May 3, 2008 6:43 AM
I agree, going to an attorney may help. George is a leech who only cares for himself and no one else. He wouldn't care if the house fell down on his parents and sister. He would happily suck his parents dry, and leave them alone and destititute.
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Posted by: Mary
Comment: #6
Sun May 4, 2008 10:38 AM
I thought your advice was wrong. If the parents do lose their home, where do you think they and the disabled sister will end up? "Tired" needs to speak with an attorney immediately and then with her brother. The fact that he has cancer is not the issue here. Cancer treaments are expensive and $20,000 could be a drop in the bucket over the course of those treatments. If he has health insurance through his employer, he needs to keep working as long as possible for the insurance to continue. Also, if the disabled sister's care becomes too much for the parents, they need to look into long-term care facilities because as "Tired" also ages, her sister's care might become too much for her also.
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