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I agree, that the advice is poor. It makes it sound like getting therapy is good enough of an excuse to be a jerk and use people. For her sake, she should talk to a lawyer. Now that they are married, I am sure that she can get half of what the current house is worth. They may have to sell it and she may have to live in something smaller, but it's far better than living with someone who only wants you to be his future nurse.

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What crappy advice you gave to "Alone in the Ohio Valley"!! I can only hope there was more info in her letter that you didn't print. If not, then she pretty much stated this guy she married has been caught in several ies to her and seems to be USING her. She should not confront him with what she found. She should take that evidence to an attourney right away. Maybe she can have the marriage anulled based on fraud and possibly sue her husband also for fraud so she can get her house back. That man seems to have had ulterior motives for marrying her and doesn't seem to love her, based on what was in the letter. If it were me, I would not give the guy the chance to realize I was onto him and start hiding assets or covering evidence. I'd go straight to an attouney and weight my options. depiste being in counselling, he doens;t seem like the type willing or able to change his ways and just got someone to take care of him until someone better comes along. What will she do then?? She should get out now while she has a chance. That guy sounds like a real JERK!

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Annie suggests counseling for everything but sometimes counseling just isn't appropriate. The man doesn't love his wife and she knows it. He likes girls young enough that apparently he had to go to Vietnam to sleep with them without being arrested. He just married her to have a live in maid/nurse as he ages. There are much worse fates than being alone and the letter writer is going to experience them if she doesn't get a lawyer and get out now. She can go to counseling afterward to explore why she was ever willing to live in such a situation.

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I am shocked with this "advice" and I hope this lady will run to the lawyer as soon as possible to protect herself. This whole marriage is based on a lie and confronting this fraud and trying to have "honest conversation" with him would be equivalent of confronting a burglar who broke into your house to explain him its not nice to steal.

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I've never heard of anyone taking notes during his counseling sessions. Maybe these are his thoughts and they seem to be honest. He writes that he married her because it is no longer possible to attract younger women even with his money. Now her money is his money. She should copy those notes and take the originals and see a lawyer immediately. He has already told her she is not sexually attractive to him anymore. He wanted a nurse/maid, not a wife and a sexual life with her. Run, not walk. This may actually be one marriage that can be annulled since there was lying, lying, lying.

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This man sounds like a sociopath. I know, I married one (now in process of divorce). I could not divorce under "fraud" although he lied about number of marriages too. Your husband lied about marriages, has unethical and immoral conduct (reason to marry and sex with young girls), dating was great and marriage is not, many short term relationships, manipulative behavior. Other indicators: charming, financial irresponsible, no very close friends, poor relationships with parents and/or children, and detached. Copy your husbands notes and run to an attorney. Move whatever money you can to another account or get cash and look for a place to stay. I would recommend that you don't confront him until you have moved your money and seen an attorney. Read the "Sociopath next door" by Marion Stout. Also check out www.lovefraud.com for similar stories of people who have fallen in love with sociopaths. Don't wait as many sociopaths start making these "honesty" talks right before they take the money and disappear and move on to the next victim. Good luck and my prayers are with you.

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I'd give that guy his walkin' papers in a heartbeat. Forget about his 'counselling' - he's done nothing but con her all this time, just looking for someone to take care of him in his old age, while caring nothing about her. If he was serious about wanting to 'change' or make things better, he wouldn't still be hiding everything from her (everything that was the truth, I mean). Sounds like he has some sexual fetishes that might even cross over into illegal activity if she dug a little deeper ("sex with young girls" - HOW young??). If she doesn't get this guy out of her life and quick, she's in for more trouble and heartache than she ever imagined.

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My God the man is a confessed pedophile, and he married her to get someone to take care of him in his old age because a young woman would toss his ass to the sidewalk. Get the hell out of the relationship after talking to a lawyer who will protect you. She can get an annullment for fraud. She needs to protect herself. Screw him.

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Sister's not speaking to you because you won't let her interfere between your doctor and you ..... what's wrong with this picture?? I have 3 sisters, to whom I am very close, but if one of them decided to 'cut me off' and not speak to me anymore because I wouldn't allow her to call my doctor and talk to him about MY health issues, we'd just have to spend a lot of time apart. Talk about 'controlling' - sounds like that sister has always done it and the other sister has always let her. Why don't people realize that people can only take advantage of them (or as in this case, control them) to the point that they LET people take advantage or control them. Wake up, people! Grow some backbone!

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Dear Annie, I wonder if this is my ex-husband that she is writing about. The names and maybe even the ages and locations are different, but I can tell her right now that he is nothing but a liar. I would venture to say that he isn't even getting counseling. I was wife number 3 and his mistress was the young one prior to me. My best advice is to go to the FBI. My brother had my ex investigated and found out the real truth but it was too late. He had already spent all of my money and had run up credit card debt. I heard the same lines about him not being attracted to me anymore and he began to spend more and more time away from me. He was a pro, a real con man. I was left with nothing but debt and a broken heart. Ladies - please - if you are a widow, divorced or just a very lonely person, listen to your friends, family and then before doing anything stupid (like selling your house and spending your money) have him investigated. Alone in Ohio should contact a private investigator, an attorney and take back as much as she can before he leaves her in ruins. Signed - Been there done that

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Dear Annie: Excuse me?!!! What kind of advice is that? I would take all of the bank account money that was actually mine from the sale of the house, and RUN, not walk, to the nearest attorney!!! Are you kidding me? She could be in great danger by "sitting down and talking with him" about this. Obviously, he is a giant liar and has more psychiatric problems than she is equipped to deal with. I am sorry, but he is a very sad example of a man with sexual problems that he believes can only cured by young girls? Good grief, lady. Don't stay in this relationship. These problems are his, not yours, and you certainly deserve better than he can give. Love yourself first, and the rest of the good things in life will come to you. This isn't love - it is fear, his fear of getting older and living alone with no one to care for him. No doubt! I wouldn't want him and neither should you. Wishing you the nerve to get out, and blessings when you do - and don't look back, not for a second. I am your age and life can get better if you just take care of you and know that other women care what happens to you. I never wrote in before, but this kind of advice scares me. Savvy in Michigan