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Tell the teens that you're calling the cops on them??? That's HORRIBLE advice. Just call the cops- don't warn them- and keep doing it over and over. Eventually they'll figure out that they should hang out elsewhere. We live across from a park, and we call the cops all the time. That's what they're around for- to keep the peace. By announcing that you're calling the cops, you simply make yourself the target. Why would you do that?

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I hope Melissa and her boys are volunteering right now to make sure there are teen-friendly things to do in PA. This will get something going for the current teens and everything will be set up for the two sons when they get older. The kids will learn good lessons about community spirit. These teens are not bored and trying to find something to do. They are trashing someone else's yard. If the woman calls the police, she may find out names and either the police or she and the neighbors can call on the parents. These teens could hang out in their own yards or just walk around if they want something to do. I must have been strange, but when I was a teenager, I read books, lots of books. That way, I wasn't bored at all. I still do that in retirement, so kids, pick up after yourselves and remember, most people don't like anyone using their yard for a play ground.

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Regarding "Garden Snakes" in Pennsylvania: I too live in PA, and I have to say a few words. First of all, of course the parents of these teenagers are absent-- I would not expect to have to escort any one over 12 to all of their play areas. No, I don't think they should get away with damaging other's property, but I didn't have my hand held when my friends & I went out to amuse ourselves as teenagers. Second, it's just wonderful that snarky, snooty adults like Garden can call the cops all the time on these kids--but I'll bet they'll turn their noses up on the idea of donating time or some cash or materials or ANYTHING to help build recreational areas like skateparks, ball parks or courts, or gamerooms where the kids can go, hang out, be safe, and stay out of their blessed, consecrated yards. And PA is extremely void of such areas. It has been for a long time. I am 31, with two small boys, and I wonder where they are going to hang out later on if we are still in PA. After playgrounds are outgrown, what's left? My high school friends and I used to just walk all over town. We were bored out of our minds, which would explain why we found hidey holes to smoke at, older boyfriends to procure booze, set fire to paper bags in various places (all in wide open areas- we were bored, not stupid), and stood around reading magazines at the local drugstore. From 12- 16 or 17, when they're old enough to be unsupervised but can't drive anywhere to do anything worthwhile, what else are they gonna do? Many of these kids are very smart, there's just no affordable , available activities or places for them to go. And are these people positive it's the kids that are causing all the damage and not someone trying to sell the missing items for scrap, which is fetching a nice haul these days? Oh, but it's so much easier to just blame the kids. Maybe before they start the bellyaching, these uppity buttheads should look at the whole picture and see if there's anything the could contribute to to help allieviate the situation, instead of wasting the police department's time and making kids out to look like criminals. sign me- I know how these kids feel

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Wow! Did I write the first letter in my sleep a few years ago and send it to Annie without knowing? LW1 sounds like me a few years back. I finally found enough courage to stand up to my dear ol' mom and tell her that my house was just the way I liked it, and if she didn't, nobody dragged her there to visit. I backed it up by NOT allowing her to visit for the next year. Every time she wanted to come, I said that it was not convenient, I didn't have time for cleaning, had too much work, etc. I was happy to visit her if she wished me to, and we always talked on the phone.

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I abhor of comments such as the following: "Deny your infatuation with this passing fling and trust real love — the love of a wife and family, which, may I say, he is extremely fortunate to have, given his tendencies. Being gay is not his "real self." It is his selfishness taking over and it is not attractive. His kids need someone they can respect." This comment is unbelievable: How can anyone still think this about homosexuality? In this day and age, with all the current information we have about different sexualities, I find it hard to believe anyone could be so naive and ignorant. Homosexuality is not "selfish" or "a passing fling". It is not abnormal or a disease, it is another reality. I myself am a heterosexual woman and happily married. however, if I learned my husband was not happy because he was in the closet, I would want him to stop hiding and live the life he feels comfortable to live. no one should feel the need to hide. His wife might even be understanding and one day they could still be friends, for the kids at least. His children should respect him more because he has the guts to be himself and respects himself enough to change his life.

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A word of advice to unruly children. Every police department has a community advocate. They should contact thier local or state police whichever juristriction the community falls under and ask for this person. Get together with the neighbors and make a list of the damages and property losses. Set up a meeting with thie neighbors and the community advocate from the police deprtment and discuss the issues and on going problems. They will set up patrols and you can invite one of your local supervisors which is what we call them here in our township. They can place signs of no trespassing or loitering in places that the police can arrest them if they are hanging there when passing through. We had these same type of problems her in our community and these were the actions I used. We hold these meetings about every 5 years when another generation of children hit the teen years to discuss issues in our area. It truly works when we tell these parents who let thier childrenout of control that we have expectations of your children living here and the majority expect approiate behaviors. When I first moved here they were like street gangs who thought your property items were theirs and had no respect for anyone and homes were broken into and bikes stolen and cars robbed. This is a middle class neighborhood and like I said the majority of us sat with the police and said we had enough and let thiese parents know get your children under control and it works.

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Re: Marie-Claude What about the lie his family has been living? His wife and children were just something to be used so he could fit in with the straight world. How could you possibly be friends much less respect someone who has lied and used you for years?