Just Looking, Thanks!
by Peter McKay
This past week, as we watched the Olympics on TV almost every night, I had to sit by quietly while my wife commented, with disturbing regularity, on all the young male athletes. She wasn't talking about scores, times, or world records, or even their medals, but about how well built they all were.
The gymnasts had incredible arms. The sprinters, beautifully muscled thighs. The beach volleyball players, of course, had it all, and showed it off. But the swimmers, with their 8-pack abs and ...
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Posted by: Marianella
Comment: #1
Mon Sep 1, 2008 11:14 AM
I enjoyed this article. I've had discussions about this many times with different people. In the end, I think it has to do with what exactly you're thinking about that person you're "checking out". Women may be admiring those swimmers, but oftentimes it goes no further than an appreciation for an attractive, fit individual. My brothers/male friends, on the other hand, seem to be thinking/joking about a whole lot more than just what someone looks like... it's more what they'd like to *do* with that attractive, fit individual. (And my brothers/friends are generally more gentlemanly than most!) And that's where the line's get drawn. If you're just looking and admiring, there's no harm there, but many women probably assume that men don't stop there - and that's when it becomes offensive or creepy.
I'm no scientist, but I think we've discovered over the years that men and women are wired differently. We think differently, and our brains go to different places if different situations. Sometimes we don't want to accept it, but in this case, it could be an explanation for why there is a double standard.
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Posted by: cmm
Comment: #2
Thu Aug 28, 2008 8:31 AM
BGK, I agree with you. Michael Phelps is 23 and a man, a young man, but an adult. The women's gymnastics team is made up of teenagers. The gymnast was a a bad example. Next time choose a cute, and over 18, swimmer or runner and you'll have more people on your side of the argument.
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Posted by: bgk
Comment: #3
Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:17 PM
I've been married for 13 years, and while my husband will not engage in conversation about the attractiveness of men he will talk about attractive women. We talk/critique all types of women and body parts. There are beautiful, cute, attractive people everywhere, and to pretend that once you become married the senses become dull is crazy to me. As long as you look - but not like a predator or starving animal - and don't touch, I have no problem. In your case, I think the big deal is the cute onr you picked is only 16 years old. I can understand how your comments could be perceived as "creepy."
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