I consider myself multitalented because I can make toast. Whenever the family gathers for a big breakfast, I'm in my corner, cranking out the toast with such efficiency that people often comment on it.

"All Dad ever does is make the toast, while we do everything else," they'll praise.

"How's the toast?" I'll ask proudly.

"Pretty good," they'll say. "Maybe a little too much butter."

"Too much butter, or is it just that yo ...

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