The Advice Goddess from Creators Syndicate

Tender Is The Nightmare for 07/08/2008

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Women these days think they have the luxury of being picky about men, and you encourage them. You ran a letter from "Almost A Bride," the woman whose fiance has difficulty dealing with conflict. She said, "I'm in my late 40s, and don't want to end up alone. No man is perfect, right?" I have news for her: If she doesn't marry him, she probably will end up alone. I read about ...

Updated: Tue Jul 08, 2008

Trauma Queen for 07/15/2008

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm a 40-year-old guy seeing a 29-year-old woman for four months. I seem to have a pattern of dating women with serious problems. Sure enough, weeks after we met, she suffered a major emotional upheaval that triggered issues from her history of abuse (a vicious marriage). As an understanding companion, educated about abuse (I'm a part-time counselor), I've elected to stay. This has meant shelvi ...

Updated: Tue Jul 15, 2008

Where There's A Will There's A Gay for 07/22/2008

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I've been an out lesbian for several years and am only attracted to women. A close male friend recently confessed his feelings for me. I've known him for years, and we connect in a way I've never connected with anybody. If he were a woman, I'd consider him my soul mate. If only I could somehow make myself bisexual. I love him, but have no desire for mutual pants-less-ness. In fact, the idea of ...

Updated: Tue Jul 22, 2008

Meating People for 07/29/2008

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I recently ended a relationship, and over the past few weekends I've hit the singles bars. Typically, I do okay with women — just not in this scene. Each time, I managed to get a few numbers, but any woman I call never calls back. Why do women give me their number if they don't want me to call? — 28 And Frustrated

Going out to a singles bar and asking a bunch of women ...

Updated: Tue Jul 29, 2008

All About Steve for 08/05/2008

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Six months ago, my first serious relationship ended. My ex, "Steve," and I attend the same college, but rarely communicate anymore. It's difficult, but for the best. The trouble is, my ex's new love interest seems intent on becoming my friend. She friended me on Facebook, started calling me on my cell (a number I never gave her), and inserts herself into plans with mutual friends. She ...

Updated: Tue Aug 05, 2008

Where The Grills Are for 08/12/2008

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

What would you think if your boyfriend asked you about a particular woman at a barbecue after you both left? He claimed he was just curious — he'd seen her at my son's barbecue, and wondered how she knew the family — but, of course, she's young, beautiful and half my age (I'm 53). In our four years together, he's gotten better about not visibly showing interest in other women, but I ...

Updated: Tue Aug 12, 2008

Class Half Empty for 08/19/2008

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

My wife and I are newlyweds. We went to breakfast, and I ordered coffee, and she said she wanted only water. The waitress kept refilling my coffee. A couple times, my wife took sips. The waitress asked if she wanted coffee, and she declined. The manager also asked politely, "Nothing to drink for the lady, just water?" Later, my wife took another sip. I told her it wasn't proper to kee ...

Updated: Tue Aug 19, 2008

Second To Nun for 08/26/2008

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I grew up witnessing my sister and close friends being chased after by many guys, some even claiming to be in love. Then there's me, 23, never in a relationship, and barely ever sought after. I'm not unattractive, but I've just begun to get it together with the clothes, the hair, and what not. I lost my virginity last year in a hookup on vacation. I'm now dating somebody I don't see as relation ...

Updated: Tue Aug 26, 2008

Dusting After Him for 09/02/2008

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm 42 and in love for the first time. I live in a beautiful house with the most kind, generous, sweet and gentle man imaginable. Unfortunately, he's a slob, and it's making me crazy! The worst is walking downstairs in the morning and facing the mess. Aaarrrgh!! It can make me irritable/angry/depressed all day. I've begged and cajoled. Most embarrassingly, I've even thrown a fit. When I pick up ...

Updated: Tue Sep 02, 2008

Cache Him If You Can for 09/09/2008

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I recently discovered that my boyfriend of four years has been secretly searching for his ex-fiance online. I'd say most girlfriends check their mate's cell phone or Internet history, so I think I'm not alone in looking. When I confronted him, he said he wasn't trying to make contact or anything, he just never got closure, and wonders about her sometimes. (About eight years ago, he caught her c ...

Updated: Tue Sep 09, 2008

You Kant Get It All In One Place for 09/16/2008

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

The guy I'm dating is a high school graduate with a manual labor job. I have a master's and a corporate career, and I'll eventually make several times his salary. He's a great guy, and does stuff like spontaneously buying me flowers at the farmers market and calling just to say goodnight. We talk sports, which I love, and he shares his work gossip, but I can't talk to him the way I talk to my e ...

Updated: Tue Sep 16, 2008

From Beer To Eternity for 09/23/2008

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

Okay, I give up. I met a guy online. He said I was very pretty (and I actually look like my pictures). We talked several times, and had lots in common, so I took a train to where he lives and he drove us to a baseball game. Let me be clear: At no time did it seem he wasn't enjoying himself. We laughed and flirted. He even mentioned a second date. Then it happened. In the eighth inning, after we ...

Updated: Tue Sep 23, 2008

Sublets Get It On for 09/30/2008

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm a 25-year-old woman who spends an exorbitant amount of hours daydreaming about this 28-year-old guy I met nine months ago. We're both musicians, and both tired of the games men and women play. He tells me I'm an absolute catch, and leans in when we talk in the hall like he's trying to get closer. He has said he's timid with girls he likes, plus I told him, "When I really like a guy, I ...

Updated: Tue Sep 30, 2008

Sex And The Biddy for 10/07/2008

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm an attractive, 42-year-old single mom with a 13-year-old son. I've been widowed for three years, and I'm finally ready to date. I've found myself increasingly attracted to this man (actually, I'm yearning to jump his bones), but he's only 32. I sense the attraction may be mutual. The problem is, I'm the queen of mixed signals. If a good-looking guy checks me out in the grocery store, I scur ...

Updated: Tue Oct 07, 2008

Better Loving Through Chemistry for 10/14/2008

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm a 30-year-old woman who started seeing a guy in his early 40s a month ago. He's very healthy and confident, and seems pretty balanced. We get together about once a week, on weekends, and he's amazing in bed! He wants sex three to four times in a 12-hour period, and lasts quite a while. I'm loving this, but just once on some days would be fine, too. Also, I'm thinking this is unusual for a g ...

Updated: Tue Oct 14, 2008

My Fair Cleaning Lady for 10/21/2008

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. I'm 24, he's 29, and he has this plan for making his first million by 37. I respect his ambition, but wonder how much I have to sacrifice for this plan to succeed. It's not even my plan! Not only is all the romance gone, he works nights and I work days, and we barely see each other. Plus, his 9-year-old son lives with us, so we're never alon ...

Updated: Tue Oct 21, 2008

Adam's Ribbing for 10/28/2008

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:00:00 -0700

I'm a guy in my mid-20s, and I'm feeling socially penalized for only having dated (or even been with) a few women. I find it odd that there's this pejorative word "slut" for women who sleep around but no similar strong pejorative for men who do. Of course, there is a pejorative for men who don't: loser. People value a woman who's choosy or chaste, but if a man doesn't date much or hav ...

Updated: Tue Oct 28, 2008

It's The Belittle Things... for 11/04/2008

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I'm 24 and my boyfriend of five months is 28. He was adamant about knowing the number of sexual partners I've had. I'm not comfortable sharing that, but he said he had to know what he was getting into to take the relationship to the next level. He's had 14; I've had four, but I told him two. It was an honest mistake — two were hookups and I forgot them. Honesty is super important to him, ...

Updated: Tue Nov 04, 2008

Serf And Turf for 11/11/2008

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

My boyfriend's from a socially prominent family, complete with a long line of sycophants and hangers-on. I apparently passed the initial vetting process, but a year later, I still feel like I'm auditioning. He sometimes doesn't invite me to events where everyone brings a spouse or a date. I feel like he and others don't think I'm "fabulous" enough. He said his not including me is rela ...

Updated: Tue Nov 11, 2008

Stalking On Air for 11/18/2008

Tue, 18 Nov 2008 00:00:00 -0800

I asked a guy out and we went salsa dancing last night. Afterward, he gave me a quick kiss goodbye on the lips. Does the fact that it was on the lips mean he likes me and wants a second date? Would he have kissed me there if he didn't really like me? I'd like to see him again, but know he's dating other women. I texted him today, saying I had fun, and hoped we'd stay in touch. I haven't heard f ...

Updated: Tue Nov 18, 2008