Dear Annie: I am a 20-year-old college student who works full time. My biggest problem isn't that I have to work so hard. It's that it seems I'm the only one who needs to. Many of my classmates receive grants and financial aid that cover tuition, books and living expenses. Some of them already have a degree. They go to school, start a career and then decide they don't like it and go back to school and some agency pays their way. How is that fair?

I have one shot at this. If I don't like the career I have chosen, I am stuck with it. I have applied for every type of student financial aid out there and have been denied every single time. I can't get a loan because I have no credit and no co-signers. My parents help me a little with tuition, but they have two other kids to provide for. I don't attend an Ivy League school, just a small community college. Frankly, I am ready to throw in the towel. Please tell me my hard work will pay off in the long run. — Feeling Slighted in Ohio

Dear Ohio: It will pay off. However, we don't understand why you can't qualify for financial aid. Have you tried a Federal Stafford Loan, where your lack of credit is not an issue? Most colleges have a financial aid office. Make an appointment to talk to someone who can help you navigate the applications and find out why you haven't been able to get assistance.

Dear Annie: My elderly mother lives alone in a retirement community. My brothers and I do everything possible to help her remain independent. We call daily, see her weekly, assist with bills, doctors, groceries, etc. But what we can't do is satisfy her craving for attention.

Mother tells other relatives she is blind, which isn't true. She also says she doesn't have enough money for groceries, also not true. These little lies get the family members to worry about her, but it also makes them think we are not taking care of her. If they would ask us directly instead of passing judgment behind our backs, we would tell them. These relatives cannot imagine the stress we are under, and it would be nice if they offered to help or bothered to visit Mother and see for themselves that she lives quite nicely. — Caring Child

Dear Caring: Don't tell us. Tell them. The next time you visit Mom, call Aunt Carol and Cousin Jim and ask them to come with you. Mention how much Mom would love to see them because her children visit all the time and it would be nice for her to see a new face. That should do it.

Dear Annie: I feel compelled to respond to "Still Grieving," who was accosted by religious zealots when her son died.

My father died unexpectedly over a year ago. Mom thought he was asleep, but he was not. It was quite a shock. About a week after his passing, I received a letter from someone I didn't recognize. The letter said my father would not go to heaven because he was the wrong religion, and if I didn't convert, I wouldn't go either. This was from a total stranger who apparently picked my name from the obituary.

It is cruel to do this to grieving people. I know my father is in heaven because he was obedient to God's word. There is a time and a place to share your faith and it should be done in a loving and compassionate way. These people only succeeded in making me angry. — Forever Missing Dad

Dear Missing: These intrusive, intolerant folks are so blinded by their religious beliefs that they feel obligated to convert you. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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