Dear Annie: I have been married for 10 years and have one son. He's now at an age when he is starting to notice how much my husband's sister hates me. I have no idea why. What do I say when he asks, "Why does Aunt Jane look at you with a mean face? Why does she laugh at you?"

So far, I have ignored her outrageous gossip and slander. The rest of the family doesn't seem to care how she treats me, or they prefer to ignore it. I am a well-educated, accomplished woman and am tired of defending my reputation after Jane is through trashing it.

At what point can I sue her for slander and shut her up once and for all? What should I tell my son? — Rising from the Ashes

Dear Ashes: You can tell your son that you don't know why Aunt Jane behaves this way. She sounds bitterly jealous of you. However, suing her requires that you can prove her comments are causing you monetary loss, and that doesn't seem to be the case. Why isn't your husband standing up for you? He should tell Jane to knock it off, and the rest of his family should insist she behave in your presence. That everyone tolerates this cruelty indicates they are afraid of Jane or they dislike you. Tell your husband, calmly and with concern, that it is best if you and your son no longer have contact with Jane because her attitude is so poisonous. If he wishes to see his sister, he can do so on his own.

Dear Annie: Our school's PTA president and part-time employee, "Pat," arrives at work late every day and parks her car in the one handicapped spot in the teacher's lot. She is not disabled, nor does she have the proper license plate or placard to park there. She has told others she has the "right" to use the spot because she is so involved in our school.

Several teachers have informally elected me to do something about this because my father is a disabled vet. What can I do? This lady has power at my school and a sense of entitlement beyond belief. We are afraid to talk to the principal or the police. — Torrance, Calif.

Dear Torrance: If you are too afraid to speak up, Pat will go on abusing her parking privileges. There is safety in numbers. All of the teachers should go to the principal, together, and explain that Pat's car is parked illegally and the school administration could get into serious trouble if it knowingly permits her to continue.

Dear Annie: I'm a bit alarmed to see the vast number of letters from men who aren't getting enough sex. I wonder if they bother to use any other organ.

I've been married to the same man for 30 years. Two years ago, I was diagnosed with extreme high blood pressure. Unfortunately, the medications to control it also inhibit the sex drive. I asked my doctor whether there was anything I could do to increase my libido, but the answer was no. I've let my husband know I'm happy to have sex with him, but that's not good enough. He wants me to be full of desire or pretend to be.

After reading your mail, I see where I've gone wrong. Instead of raising the children, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, working three jobs to help make ends meet, putting up with his unlovable family and keeping myself fit, I should just have been having lots of sex with him and then conveniently died of a stroke.

Women run to their doctors to see if they can raise their sexual desire. Have men ever thought to see if they could be given something to lower their libido? I'll bet not. — I Should Be Dead in the Midwest

Dear Midwest: A lot of women have asked us the same question. We're sure some men have tried to lower their libido, but we doubt it's common practice.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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