Q: My boss and I were close friends until we had a falling out, which spilled over into work. We ended the friendship, and I looked for and found another job in the same department, but not directly under my former friend. She told me that during the transition, I would work for her on a limited basis until she was able to find my replacement. I did my best to meet her needs, but the new job was not staffed for months, so the work backed up. Her boss said I was not doing well during the transition, and they blame me for many things: not being available enough to help my boss; not remembering to tell her things at the appropriate times; not turning in paperwork that I know I handed to her; and causing her to work more hours to correct my supposed mistakes.

The worst part is that I found lost paperwork at home that was from last October. I need to turn it in to her, but I know that will be the nail in my coffin. I lost the papers because I was overwhelmed with the demands of my job and because I was helping my boss with her job while her mother was terminally ill. I also had just left my husband at the time and was working overtime in two other departments. My direct boss said I never told her how swamped I was, but I have e-mails proving that I let her know. I'm afraid she will just keep coming after me and that ultimately I will lose my new job. What should I do?

A: You have many problems to resolve, and dealing with your former boss isn't the only one. Employees can have friendly relationships with bosses, but they cannot maintain close personal friendships with those bosses. Your former boss may be gunning for you because she is still furious about the friendship ending, or she may be angry over letting things slide because she was your friend. Another big problem is that you sound as if you were and still are over your head in responsibility and perhaps ability. You must learn what you are capable of doing, how much work you are capable of handling, and how to say "no." You are not doing anyone a favor by taking on work that you can't complete or even keep organized. Compounding your problems is that you need to learn to keep your personal problems out of the workplace. That goes for your boss, as well.

To get out of this mess, start by owning up to your mistakes, and stop making excuses for why you made them. Correct them if you can, and stop agreeing to help when you really can't. You new job doesn't sound like a great opportunity because you are starting out by being behind, and you can't get out of your job until you clear up the errors you made and train a new person, which is not an unreasonable request from your boss. Taking a less demanding job in a different department or with a different employer may be the only solution to a peaceful environment that runs smoothly.

CEO Uses Hiring Line To Pick Up Woman on Office Visit

Q: When I started a new job a year ago, my boss and I had a meeting at an ad agency. When we were leaving the meeting, the CEO of the ad agency walked up to me and handed me his card in front of everyone. He said that he needed people like me and I should come to work for him. The CEO and my boss were friends, so everyone laughed. My boss even admitted that I had called him a grouch one day. I really would like to work for the ad agency, but I do not trust the CEO for trying to poach me in front of my boss. How should I move forward?

A: It sounds as if the CEO was putting the moves on you rather than trying to hire you. If you want to work for an ad agency, build up your résumé to highlight your transferable skills, and start a legitimate job search. You also might want to tell your boss about your interest and ask what he thinks of ad agency jobs. He is probably in a position to tell you much more than you'll find out through interviewing.

Please send your questions to: Lindsey Novak, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. E-mail her at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com, or visit her Web site at www.LindseyNovak.com. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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