Today I paid my last visit to Mrs. Jane Woodruff, a patient who has touched me greatly. As I watched her navigate her final months and days with peace and fortitude, this brave and dignified woman taught me more about life than I could ever convey.

I met Jane nearly six months ago, when she came to see me complaining of progressive weakness in her arms and legs. Over the past year, she had seen multiple physicians, none of whom had been able to diagnose her problem. It did not take us long to make a diagnosis — she had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig's disease, a devastating illness with a very poor prognosis.

Upon first meeting Jane, I realized that this was a remarkable woman with whom I would develop a deep connection. She is beloved by many friends and blessed with a loving and devoted family.

As she faced the reality of her illness, Mrs. Woodruff's first concern was becoming a "burden to her family." This is a concern that I frequently hear, but one I cannot always understand. After all, if you can't depend on your family, on whom can you depend? After much persuasion, she finally acquiesced and agreed to move in with her daughter.

With the help of her brother, husband and children, her daughter, Connie, spent the next few months caring for her mother, who rapidly became more and more paralyzed. Far from being a burden, Connie tells me, having her mother move in with her was the best gift her mother could have ever given. The closeness made her appreciate her mother's caring nature, her brilliance and her attitude toward life and death. The entire experience was viewed not as a burden but as a unique privilege that will always be cherished.

Soon Mrs. Woodruff could not turn in bed without assistance; it took two strong people to move her from the bed to a chair. With steely determination, she finally insisted that continuing to live with her daughter was something she was no longer willing to do. After a short time in a nursing home, she was persuaded to enter an inpatient hospice unit where the staff is trained in comfort and end-of-life care. The goal was not to prolong her life but to assure that her remaining days were comfortable, peaceful and had all the spiritual, social and family support she needed. The care she received there was truly exceptional.

I spent a great deal of time sitting with Mrs. Woodruff, discussing her illness and her imminent death, and her thoughts about them. Throughout our conversations, it was clear that she was at peace, maintained a strong faith and had no fear of dying. Her concerns were only of her loving family.

She tried her best to eat, not for herself, but for them. At one point she asked me, with tears in her eyes, if it was all right to stop eating. Her family spent hours helping her swallow food, which was already difficult for her, and she was concerned that not eating would upset them. “Of course it was OK not to eat,” I told her. I promised to tell her family, who with solemn understanding agreed with her decision.

From then on, she did not suffer. Still able to communicate, she made peace with those who loved her and retained her dignity throughout. As I said my goodbyes, I knew I would grieve deeply for her. I will always remember her, knowing with certainty that helping her and others like her die is the most important spiritual and professional task I can ever achieve.

The story of Jane Woodruff should be a lesson to everyone, young and old alike. Death is as natural as birth, a continuation of the circle of life. No one wants to spend their final days in a hospital and hooked up to machines. Whenever possible, a dignified and comfortable death means a much better life for everyone.

Go in peace, Jane; you will always be remembered by the many who deeply love and respect you. I hope that others with a terminal illness will follow your path, depend on their family, maintain their dignity and choose hospice for comfort and end-of-life care.

Dr. David Lipschitz is the author of the book "Breaking the Rules of Aging." To find out more about Dr. David Lipschitz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com. More information is available at www.drdavidhealth.com.

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