Q: I fully realize that as I age I am beginning to be giving up some of my activities. I'm trying not to do so. And I don't want my family to remember me as an old sourpuss. How can I avoid it?

A: Rather than just leaving a puff of smoke, focus on a positive attitude.

Evelyn Waugh once said, “Old people are more interesting than young.” Retrieve from your memory the good times, and verbally share them with your family. Let them know about all the fun you have enjoyed during your lifetime.

Let go of any grudges. Life is too short to hate anyone. Don't take yourself too seriously — no one else does. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up what remains of your future. Forgive everyone. Start to love them for who they are, not who you would prefer them to be.

Get rid of the possessions you no longer need. If something is no longer useful to you or doesn't make you happy, give it away to your family, friends or charity.

Aging is truly a gift. Live life with a passion and remember you are in charge of your happiness. What really matters is you have loved others as they have loved you!

Q: Dad died three years ago and left Mom with little knowledge of how to manage her checkbook. To our amazement, she quickly grabbed hold of how to manage her finances. Now, Mom is not feeling well. She has told our family she doesn't want us to go through the hard times she went through with Dad at the end of his life. She has offered to share openly her estate situation and has called for a family meeting. What questions should we ask?

A. First, where are her keys and important paperwork? Does it contain a list of her bank accounts, insurance policies, will, trusts, safe deposit box, health care proxy, and power of attorney? Next, make sure all your mother's important forms are signed and updated.

Who are the beneficiaries? Will they share equally, or are percentages involved? Who holds power of attorney to facilitate the transfers? Have funeral services been arranged?

Each family has its own lifestyle. Are your mother's personal possessions, such as jewelry, paintings and cars, to be given to specific family members? You will soon find in your meeting with your mother and family that there are many more questions you would like answered.

Your mother is a jewel to invite all of you to discuss her finances. Her positive attitude will serve to be extremely helpful when distributions are to be made. From the family's point of view, each of you will know in advance what is to be yours. Your mother could also explain why each item is to be given to whom.

Relieving her of those responsibilities now will mean she will be less stressful and happier as the end nears.

To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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