Q: Our parents are in failing health and want to downsize their home. My brothers and I have persuaded them to move. Their major concern, however, is letting go of their "treasures of a lifetime." We have been waiting nearly a year for them to do so, but they have procrastinated. What can we do?

A: Meet with your brothers and make a plan. Decide who will be in charge of coordinating the move. Bring your parents into the discussion. Determine where they will move and how much space will be available in their new living arrangement.

Don't be surprised if the move is an emotional one for them. Remember, they were raised during the Great Depression, a time when possessions were scarce. Folks who grew up in those hard times find it difficult to throw anything away, let alone those things they are attached to emotionally. Don't be surprised if they still have your report cards.

Begin slowly and plan to take several weeks for the cleanout. Diagram the rooms in your parents' new residence to indicate where their existing furniture will fit. Set a doable target date with a moving company. Go room by room to identify those things your parents can't part with.

After your parents choose the items they plan to give as gifts to you, your brothers and to other relatives, then select the items they want to give to charities. Box these items and label them.

It would only be natural it they want to keep too many things in the family. . The thought of throwing some things that have had a place in your parents' home, sometimes for a decade, will not be a pleasant one for them. So agree to take them. It will be easier for you to discard them later.

Older people fear moving because it raises both emotional and independence issues. How lucky you are to have active parents who understand what they need to do now. Take this passage as an opportunity for sharing memories together as a family. If you take your time it will probably remind you of many wonderful times. Remember, this is a major event for your parents, your brothers and you, one, which you will all remember for a lifetime!

Q: We romanticized the idea of retirement as a future spent living a simple and easygoing lifestyle. The reality is far different. We actually find ourselves pressed for time. Our days are filled with things such as doctor's appointments, regular visits from children and grandchildren (which we love), trying to stretch our budget to match inflation, and enjoying a little traveling. We are not computer literate, which makes our lives even more challenging. What can we do to make more free time for just us?

A: Our fantasies about retirement frequently fail to match our realities. Finding time to get things done actually becomes more difficult. Instead of becoming simple, our lives can become more difficult.

But there is a time-honored way to gain control of our lives through time management. The key is remembering that the two most important hours of our day are the one before right bedtime and the one right after waking up.

The nighttime hour is for planning your next day. The morning hour is for tackling your most important priorities.

Set appointments early in the morning. Once they are out of way, you will have time for mundane things like shopping and other routine responsibilities. The nitty-gritty daily rituals can be accomplished in the afternoon.

Start getting organized each night in the hour right before bedtime by making a to-do list for the next day. One trick is to list something you have already accomplished so you get a positive start by first crossing if off your list as "done". You might consider making learning how to use a computer high up on your list of priorities.

Even though the computer age seems to have made it harder to speak to a live person on the telephone, and has been the cause of many other petty annoyances, there is a purpose to technology besides just cutting costs. It behooves you to keep up with the march of time.

Using a computer makes it possible to do things more quickly and efficiently. There are many inexpensive, or even free, ways to learn how to operate them. You can try enquiring about classes and seminars at your local senior center, library or community college.

You will find using a computer to be helpful. I recommend you make this a priority on your list. It will add a new dimension to your lifestyle.

To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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