Q: Our 27-year-old grandson is an ongoing pessimist. With a lot of pressure from his family, he finally got a college degree. He has been medically checked, still lives at home, and does not do drugs. He has had several jobs, from which he either quit or was fired. He says he lost his jobs because his bosses didn't like him. He shows little ambition, and is rarely happy. How can we help convince him that he has an attitude problem?

A: Individuals who assume negative personality habits are difficult to change. Some psychiatrists think such individuals are hurting and afraid to mature and grow up. Surprisingly, pessimists often get a lot of attention and gain control of others who respond to their concerns. It is natural for those who love and care for others to attempt to pep and prop them up emotionally physically, and financially.

Rescuers often make the situation worse. They permit the pessimists to repeat his/her habits. Who becomes the victim? The path of least reasons comes into play. Obviously, this situation brings up the question of tough love and its implications. Only the individual can decide to change.

Refusing to rescue them sometimes works. We all need love, patience, and hope! As an anonymous wise man said, "Live every day as if it were your last, and it will soon be!"

Q: Our widowed grandmother recently called and said she had fallen but said she was OK. We live several hours distant. Now, our concern is, what happens should she fall again? What can we do?

A: Sometimes seniors do not initially realize they have suffered injuries that show up later. "Power is more important than strength for recovery from loss of balance or walking ability," Dain LaRoche of the University of New Hampshire indicates. He says it is the knee extensor muscles, which are critical for walking, stair climbing, or rising from a chair, which allows you to live on your own.

Make sure grandmother's doctor reviews her medications, tests her balance, vision, leg strength and functions, blood and heart rate and walking patterns.

A recent study published in the journal Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise written by LaRoche indicates elderly women can increase muscle strength as much as young women can, and that decline in muscle function is less a natural part of the aging process than due to a decline in physical activity.

Regular walking, plus physical therapy, and balance training are all beneficial. At some point using a cane or walker, buying the proper shoes, (inserts help,) and making sure eyeglasses match your grandmother's current needs are essential.

Find a friend, family member, neighbor, church or synagogue acquaintance, or perhaps an answering service to make a daily call to your grandmother. Hopefully she can find a walking partner, too!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life after work in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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