Dear Margo: I am a 23-year-old man from Greece currently living in England for studies. One of the reasons I ended up here was because of the way I feel my family will react to my lifestyle, as I am gay. By family, I mostly mean my mother, as almost all the rest of the family knows by now (my father included). Though they are not ecstatic about the fact, they can live with it. As I was growing up, the thought of my family rejecting me made me angry and led to fantasies of escape. I no longer desire to cut my ties with them, but my problem now is that I feel I have to tell my mother in order to have a healthy relationship without lies and deceit. At some point I would like to present my partner to my family. My mother is quite religious, and according to her beliefs, being an active homosexual is sinful. Should I tell her the truth and run the risk of being disowned by her, or should I let her be in her own little world and just talk about the weather with her? Many have told me she must have figured it out by now, but she is in denial. So, do I burst her bubble? — Black Sheep

Dear Black: Closets, literal and figurative, are dark and stifling places, so I hope you will come on out. In your situation, you might try to enlist your father and some of the others to help your mother understand that this is your reality and that you want to continue to have a relationship with her. Greek history is certainly rich with homosexual gentlemen, so that might be of some use to you. You should, by all means, be able to bring your partner home with you, and I am hoping your mother will go along with the program. If not, you will at least be true to yourself and relieved of having to talk about the weather. — Margo, openly

Talk about Tasteless...

Dear Margo: I was just made aware that Showtime has decided to pick up a new comedy by Steven Spielberg entitled "The United States of Tara." This comedy will be about a woman with DID, dissociative identity disorder. This disturbs me greatly because DID is caused primarily by extreme abuse or even torture of very young children. This is not a disorder that is caused by the biochemical structure of the brain. Making a comedy about it is much like saying the end result of abusing a toddler can be funny. My younger sister has DID and has spent her entire life trying to understand what was "wrong" with her, attempting to get competent help and trying to live with this complicated disorder. She is now 42. It is very difficult to watch one you love deal with different personalities and never know which one you will be encountering at any given time. This is not comedic material. The people with this disorder have suffered greatly, both at the hands of others and within their own minds. Making a comedy about this would be the same as making a comedy out of the kidnapping and torture of a child. I am heartsick and don't know if there is anything that can be done. — E.

Dear E: If your information is correct, I agree that such a show is insensitive in the extreme. It beggars the imagination that someone would attempt to make a funny version of "The Three Faces of Eve." Some intrinsically sad situations can lend themselves to humor, but this does not sound like one of them. I suspect you have ties to organizations that are interested in DID and suggest you e-mail blast everyone you can think of to let Showtime know how you feel. You could very well succeed because enough people up in arms have caused networks to reconsider programming in the past. Good luck. — Margo, proactively

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers' daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

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