On November 4, 2008, Barack Obama transitioned from campaign sensation to president-elect. With that new title came a new focus: hammering out a viable economic plan, implementing ways to combat rising unemployment, measuring the consequences of simultaneous wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and assembling an effective cabinet, not to mention pondering what to do about that angry little man in Iran.
Overnight, Obama became a man carrying the demands of the world on his shoulders. And overnight, the whole world began wondering: What's Obama gonna name his new dog?
With the promise heard 'round the world — "You have earned the new puppy that is coming with us to the White House" — there's no backing out. And, as will likely be the case with most of the incoming president's best intentions, there are obstacles from the get-go.
Last Friday in Chicago, Obama outlined them: "We have two criteria that have to be reconciled. One is that Malia is allergic, so it has to be hypoallergenic. On the other hand, our preference would be to get a shelter dog. But, obviously, a lot of shelter dogs are mutts, like me."
The Obamas first must know that a 100 percent hypoallergenic dog is a fantasy. You can, however, look to certain breeds to ensure minimal allergens. Poodles are a good bet. As are Labradoodles, Goldendoodles and Schnoodles — but they are pricey designer dogs unlikely to be found in a shelter and therefore unlikely to please some constituents.
But as president of the United States, Obama will quickly grow familiar with the claustrophobic feeling of that place between a rock and something hard.
He also will learn to give as careful consideration to the veracity of the statement, "Daddy, we'll take care of the puppy!" as he would the statement by Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, "We have firmly decided to use this technology for peaceful purposes…"
Perhaps most importantly, he will be expected to consistently demonstrate a steadfast resolve to uphold his commitments.
With that in mind, the Obamas would be wise to choose the right dog for their family, not their fans. They should consider the pup's energy level, size and personality in relation to their family dynamic. After all, how many times do you get to choose a family member?
The five most important tests any pup will ever take are those designed to unravel the mystery of his personality. They answer the questions: How friendly is your dog? How sensitive is your dog to noise? Is your dog hand shy? How strong is your dog's personality? How tolerant is your dog? Think Barney and the White House press corps.
If the answer to any one of those questions falls outside the first family's limits, that is not their dog. Information on how to administer these tests can be found online at unclematty.com, or in my book, "I Just Got a Puppy. What Do I Do?"
But the smartest move the president can make at this early point in his administration is to go puppy shopping with the kids at home.
Malia: Oh, Daddy, I want this one!
Sasha: No, Daddy! I want this one! Moooommmm!
If the president and first lady want to do this right, they'll visit three or four different places — shelters, rescues, breeders — and look at three or four different dogs per visit. This method will yield the best hypoallergenic shelter mutt the first clan could ever hope for.
As for the dog's name, I'll leave that to the blogs.
Woof!
Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Read all of Uncle Matty's columns at the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com, and visit him at www.unclematty.com. Send your questions to dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619.
COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.
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