Dear Larry: As a responsible working student and new dad, I worked double shifts on the weekends and had to drive home late at night through a resort community. Going home always proved to be a nightmare.

Within a two-year period, the police pulled me over 16 times. After they stopped me, they would ask whether I had been drinking. Frequently this would happen after they tailgated me for three miles. This tailgating was nerve-racking. It would happen going along tight curves, and I didn't know what would happen along the way. After the stops, they would shine their flashlights directly in my face, making the situations even more upsetting. Only once did the officer, who happened to be a rookie, identify himself as a police officer.

I felt provoked. The ordeals always gave me an uneasy feeling. It also made me angry, but I knew to be polite. In the end, they always let me go but never gave me an explanation as to why I was stopped in the first place.

I pondered at length why they would stop me. I think they were trying to catch drunken drivers. If I really wanted to know, I guess I could have asked, but I was too afraid to ask. I didn't want to provoke them into finding reasons to issue me tickets.

Another reason they stopped me might have been the way I drive. I am a very careful driver. I always stay within the speed limit. I never have had a speeding ticket in my 30 years of driving.

Perhaps I was picked on because of the type of car I had. I was a white man driving a car typically driven by African-Americans.

That is the reason I believe is the most accurate because the stops came to an abrupt end once I changed cars. I bought a family van and never was stopped again.

I felt wronged and harassed and sought the advice of several attorneys. All of them told me to come back and see them if I ever was issued a ticket. Because I never was issued a ticket, I just dropped the matter.

Now looking back, it is too bad camcorders were not invented. If I were in the same situation today, I would keep a video diary and put it on the Internet.

Soon my son will be in the same position. Larry, in your opinion, what is the best advice I can give him on how to handle situations such as this? — Frazzled Driver

Dear Frazzled Driver: Your behavior and your demeanor are good ways of handling the situation. Anyone who was stopped 16 times, never was issued a ticket, and didn't end with any altercations can speak with authority.

When my son started driving, I issued DWB (driving while black) instructions. I told him if he ever is pulled over by a police officer, do the following:

— Pull over immediately at the first safe place on the side of the road. If at all possible, pick a lighted area.

— Roll your window down and stay in the car with both hands at the top of the steering wheel.

— When the officer asks you for your driver's license, do not make any sudden moves. Be very deliberate in how you reach for your wallet. Once you have given him your license, put your hands back on the top of the steering wheel.

— Be polite and follow instructions at all times. Do not raise your voice. Call the person in authority officer, sir or ma'am. Sarcasm is never appropriate.

— Do not get into a discussion about the officer's accuracy or determination of the situation. Sign the ticket and drive slowly away, keeping your mouth shut. Make no comments.

Launching a son into this world with a car is one of the most frightening things a parent must endure. I wish you well.

P.S. What kind of car do African-Americans typically drive?

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