The question of whether the startup of the Large Hadron Collider in Europe would create a black hole capable of swallowing the Earth apparently wasn't the only thing on the minds of editors at Scientific American magazine.

They had another question: How fast could it defrost a pizza?

The LHC, of course, is the newest and biggest particle accelerator, a device intended to explore the origins and structure of the universe by smashing together beams of high-speed particles. Based on the estimated rate and energy of lead ion beam collisions, the pizza answer is 30 nanoseconds, or billionths of a second.

Still to be addressed: How fast could a pizza be delivered before the Big Bang and the creation of time?

VERBATIM

Before we start geoengineering, we have to raise the question: Are we sufficiently talented?

— James Lovelock, originator of the Gaia hypothesis that the Earth is self-regulating, on the idea of purposefully modifying the climate

BRAIN SWEAT

Rearrange the letters O O U S W T D N E J R to spell just one word.

PRIME NUMBERS

50 billion — Maximum estimated size, in masses of our sun, to which a black hole can grow

25 feet — Increase in average wind speed, in feet per second, of cyclones between 1981 and 2006

5 — Estimated number of extra years that space shuttles could be used. Currently, the crafts and program are slated to be retired in 2010.

Sources: Priya Natarajan, Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics; James Elsner, Florida State University; The Huntsville Times

BRAIN SWEAT ANSWER

OK, it's a trick question, but not hard. The instructions provide the answer: The letters spell "just one word."

'TRUE FACTS'

More than 35 drops of water can fit on a penny. Check out this video for proof: revver.com/video/611022/.

BLOGOSPHERE

LHC commentary

cmsdoc.cern.ch/cms/performance/FirstBeam/

Click on "cms-e-commentary.htm"

Running reports from scientists at the now-operating Large Hadron Collider, located beneath the border dividing Switzerland and France. Much of the scientists' dialogue is technical and obtuse (even with abundant imagery), but there's a sense of history and excitement.

QUIRKS OF NATURE

Perhaps evolution doesn't always need millions of years to affect change. Entomologists at Indiana University say studies of four populations of horned beetles in eastern and Western Australia, Italy and the United States indicate that each population is evolving differently, depending upon its local environment and circumstances. Some populations have developed big horns and small genitals, for example, while others have done just the opposite.

The researchers suggest the beetle populations may soon split into distinct species — in less than 50 years.

SURELY YOU'RE JOKING

A small furry animal walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "Sorry, the occupancy is 6.021x1023. We cannot serve a mole."

— A mole is a counting unit representing Avogadro's number (6.022x1023), which is the mass in grams of a sample of something that contains the same number of elementary particles (atoms, ions, molecules) as 12 grams of carbon. The bar's occupancy is smaller than a mole. Who says science can't be funny?

PATENTLY ABSURD

Bananas are sometimes called the perfect fruit: Easy to hold, individually packaged, lots of vitamins but no troublesome seeds. Just about the only downside to a banana (other than slipping on the peel) is that they frequently and easily bruise.

And thus the Banana Suitcase, patented in 2003. The fruit-shaped plastic case supposedly protects single bananas from the bruising dangers that lurk just beyond their thick but oh-so-tender skins.

ANTHROPOLOGY 101

In China, a small boy (preferably born in a Dragon year: the last was 2000, the next 2012) is rolled across the matrimonial bed of newlyweds to ensure their fertility.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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