When they handed out compulsive tendencies, I ended up with more than the standard allotment. I can sit down to watch the evening news and end up owning a pasta machine. I can stop by the mall to look around and come out with three dresses I never will wear, a gift I never will give and several things for the garden. I see what I like and WHAM! I think I need it; I'm entitled to it; and pity the poor soul who tries to stop me from having it.

While my compulsive tendencies will be part of who I am forever, thankfully I have found ways to tame them:

PARENT YOURSELF. When tempted to give in to my demands to have what I want and have it right now, I ask myself: Would I accept from my children the behavior I'm about to accept from myself? Seeing my behavior as that of a spoiled bratty kid with an intimidated parent wrapped around her little finger usually stops me dead in my tracks.

AVOID "SLIPPERY" PLACES. Alcoholics Anonymous defines a slippery place as any situation that provides a tempting opportunity to drink. My slippery places are stores, television shopping channels, slick advertisements and mail-order catalogs. If I don't frequent them, I'm not tempted.

When I cannot avoid a trip to the store, I plan my route right down to where I'll park and which entrance I'll use so I can get in and out before I have the opportunity to slip. I also have reprogrammed the TV so it doesn't stop at shopping channels.

MAKE SPENDING DIFFICULT. Think of all the ways our culture makes spending money so convenient: checkbooks, credit cards, debit cards, deferred payment, equity lines of credit, electronic transfers, and on it goes. I choose to take the convenience out of spending. I carry enough cash to meet my needs for the day. Sometimes it's a pain, but I do avoid many opportunities to act compulsively.

TALK TO YOURSELF. When confronted with a tempting purchase, self-talk is my lifesaver: If this weren't on sale, would you still buy it? (If the answer is no, I pass.) Don't you already have something that will do just as well? (I usually do.) You don't have to buy this just to prove you can; no one really cares. (Reality check.) Go home and think about it for 24 hours. (I rarely return.)

DISCOVER THE CAUSE. I'm learning that many of my compulsive tendencies find their roots in my need for approval. I also have had to admit that spending money is a mood changer, even an antidepressant. It was not easy to admit that spending was a mask I wore to hide deeper and more serious issues. By reading good books, talking about compulsive behavior, and receiving help from wise counselors, I've discovered why I do the things I do.

I can't change who I am, but I've learned how to change the way I respond. That has made all the difference.

Mary Hunt is the founder of DebtProofLiving.com and author of 17 books, including "Debt-Proof Living." You can e-mail her at mary@everydaycheapskate.com, or write to Everyday Cheapskate, P.O. Box 2135, Paramount, CA 90723. To find out more about Mary Hunt and read her past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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