If you didn't really stop to think about those words — for richer, for poorer — before you said them, they might be ringing in your ears.

You don't have to lose your fortune, or your life's savings, to realize how quickly it could happen. It doesn't matter who you are or how hard or long you worked for it, it's up for grabs. Well, almost.

Today's economic crisis, like any other severe crisis, shows us — and everybody around us — what we're made of. And, no, you don't have to lose your own butt to show it.

The truth is, sometimes we befriend, or even marry, somebody for their money … and when they lose it, our motivation can be painfully obvious, even to the oblivious. Yes, you can marry somebody for their money without their knowing it, or admitting it to themselves.

"Everybody in the family was talking about it, we knew she wanted more than his good looks and kind disposition, but nobody had the heart to burst his bubble," writes one reader. "And now, face the truth, he must."

We want to believe the best about ourselves and others, even when we don't really believe it. So, two people can get married without either of them fully acknowledging — even to themselves — the ulterior motive!

Don't be too tough on other people, though. Do take a good look at your own motivation as you develop relationships and also as you let them fade away. Make conscious choices about what you hold on to and what you let go of.

You can't take "it" with you … and you can't really control it. The value of money — no matter how much one has — will never be something ONE can control.

The Great Depression began in 1929 with the crash of the stock market. It didn't crash by itself, though; 16 million shares of stock were sold by panicking investors who lost faith in America's economy. When they lost faith in America, they forgot that they were America … or maybe they just lost faith in themselves.

Fortunes, some of which took a lifetime to build, were lost overnight — mostly to panic, somebody else's. People got scared and bailed. And the rest is history.

Remember when George Bailey (played by Jimmy Stewart) in "It's a Wonderful Life" saved The Bailey Building and Loan? He was on his way out of town for his honeymoon when he saw what looked like a run on the bank.

Maybe you know the story: George stopped and spent the day calming shareholders and saving the Building and Loan. And his wife, played by Donna Reed, somehow managed to set up housekeeping in the abandoned house that she wanted to have George's babies in — by the time he got off work. Oh, and she's also the one who gave up the honeymoon cash for George to dole out to the shareholders.

Their life together was not about money, but at the end of the movie, the toast to the richest man in town was to George Bailey — not because he had the most money, but because he had the most of what money can't buy.

It's my all-time favorite movie. I only watch it once a year, but it always makes me cry, always reminds me of what money is and what it's not.

It is very handy. It is not worth panicking over. It is not worth marrying or divorcing over.

Today's crisis is likely to get worse before it gets better. Take a look at what you're made of, really made of, and try not to come from greed or fear. If you can come from love, instead, it won't really matter what else happens.

Because, yes, it really is a wonderful life … and that has nothing to do with money.

Jan Denise is a columnist, author of the book "Naked Relationships," speaker and consultant based in McIntosh, Fla. Please e-mail her at jandenise@nakedrelationships.com, or visit her website at www.nakedrelationships.com. To find out more about Jan Denise, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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