Our daughter, Pam Rigaux, recently married her sweetheart, Cameron Gerlach, 58, after a four-year courtship. It was Pam's first marriage at the age of 47, making us the parents of the bride for the first time — at 71 and 73.

Our role as ancient parents helping a "mature" bride to the altar was a bit different than it would have been 25 years ago. For one thing, she had utmost confidence in her ability to plan the wedding in which she was waiting for so many years. No advice from doddering mom was required.

Pam planned it using her own method, not our way. From the start, Pam insisted she wanted a nontraditional wedding to match her unconventional lifestyle. She didn't belong to any institutional religious denomination, while her fiancŽ actually seemed allergic to organized religion.

The wedding took place in the lovely setting of Gambrill State Park in Frederick, Md., 50 miles north of Washington D.C. The stone structure, called a tearoom, was built by the Civilian Conservation Corps during the Depression. Its deck provided a magnificent view of mountains, evergreens and birds swooping in the valley.

There was only one problem: The wedding day had occasional showers and thick fog. Guests arrived in swirling pea soup. By the time guests left, visibility was minimal. The result? Along with us, some other attendees took a wrong turn going down the mountain road and headed the opposite way from Frederick.

One guest had a different perspective: "It was so romantic, with fog swirling about — just like a fairy-tale wedding, intimate and cozy."

The minister at Pam's wedding, as expected, was not your ordinary minister. He was a former Catholic priest, a beekeeper who specialized in providing queen bees to other beekeepers, and a fireworks expert who could marry people and then set off fireworks to memorial the occasion. (We opted out because of the expense — $1,200 for 12 miniatures.)

Pam and Cameron wrote their own vows and asked our grandson to give a reading chosen by us — a poem, "Love's Philosophy," by Christopher Marlowe.

Then came the food for the reception. She was anxious to use people she knew; therefore, she chose a woman that ran an Italian deli. Salami, pastrami and two pasta salads for a wedding? What if people didn't like that type of food?

Guess what? We had massive amounts of food left over, much of which got thrown away because our guests didn't take enough home. Looking back, we should have trusted Pam's judgment or at least delivered it to a homeless shelter.

Pam also wanted all of our grandchildren to have a role in the wedding. Six-year-old Clara was the flower girl. She walked down the aisle holding big brother Parker's hand — too scared to go alone. Nine-year-old Wyatt served as the ring bearer.

Our daughter, Janet, was the mistress of ceremony. Her task included making sure the wedding party started down the aisle at the right time and knew where to stand at the "altar." Janet did her job admirably. After the service, the celebrant marveled: "She was the most organized person I've ever seen."

Pam's and Cameron's wedding was beautiful despite all our worries. The bride and groom were joyful, and the guests all commented on how it was a lovely wedding.

How did we get through the wedding planning intact? We followed our friend Vivian's advice: "Remember the parent's role in planning. 'Yes, darling, that's a wonderful idea.'"

One traditional was not violated. The father of the bride, when the bride is 21 or so, picks up the tab for the wedding. This father of the 47-year-old bride did the same thing — he took it out of his Social Security check, though.

E-mail Joe Volz at volzjoe2003@yahoo.com or write to 2528 Five Shillings Rd, Frederick, MD 21701. To find out more about Joe Volz and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.