Dear John: I am VERY disorganized, even more so than what may be considered normal. Is there a way for me to get back on track? Unfortunately, I also have a very bad temper. While I've never hit my husband or my children, I do blow up at everything, no matter how great or small. What should I do? — Frantic Antics, in Coral Gables, Fla.

Dear Frantic Antics: The two issues may be related. Your anger may be a symptom of your anxiety over your inability to put the many elements of your life in order. You may be feeling overwhelmed and unable to ask for help. As we all know, it's hard to be calm when you feel as if you are in the middle of a storm.

Do this: Make a list of every "outstanding" project, be it a room that has to be cleaned or something else that you've been putting off. One by one, tackle these projects. If you need help, either from your husband or your children, ask for it. Let them know what you wish to accomplish, and ask for it in a manner that is respectful of them and yourself. Your request of your husband may be to pitch in. For your children, it may be as simple as keeping their own rooms in order or learning a new task such as doing the laundry. Be sure the children respect your efforts to put everything back in its place. If outside help is needed, such as yard help or a maid service two hours a week, get it.

Most times such "luxuries" can be made affordable by building them into your household budget. The relief you feel in your new accomplishments may lessen your tension and your feelings of anger. If not, please consider an anger management class. Ask a family counselor for a recommendation to one such program in your area.

Dear John: My boyfriend, "Ted," took a job a year ago in a tiny little town. It was always an understanding that when we got out of school, we would move to a place where we both could get decent entry-level jobs. Ted's a union worker — great pay for him, but in a place with little opportunity for me. Well, we have come to a point where either I move there to be with him, or the relationship ends. I am not a small town girl, but I do want to work. More importantly, it hurts me that Ted made this huge decision for the both of us and sees it as no big deal. He understands how I feel, but it is a done deal for him — get vested with his company and who knows after that. I feel that if Ted has made this major decision for us without my involvement, what will happen the next time a major decision is up for consideration? Does my vote count? More importantly, do I count to him? — It Takes Two, in TinyTown, USA

Dear It Takes Two: To Ted, your vote is second to his agenda, as are your needs. You are at a crossroads: Ted has decided his career is his priority, even at the cost of yours. You now have a choice. Should you accept his decision, you will resent the fact that you did. If you follow your own path, it may mean the end of the road for you and Ted. Relationships are made of compromise, but no compromise is worth a lifetime of resentment. Follow the path that's right for you. If Ted wants to be on it, he will. If not, it's a safe bet that others more in tune with your needs will cross your path in life.