Dear John: I am a 21 year-old male who likes someone more than she likes me. "Tiffany" has a daughter who absolutely adores me. She has said that she doesn't want a relationship with me, and yet she told me that she is tired of being alone. Although she is seeing someone else, I feel that I am getting mixed signals. We've grown close and are really good friends. She tells me she loves me, and that she doesn't want to lose me. In fact, she has asked me to move in to her apartment. I really think I am falling for her hard. I don't want to get hurt, but more importantly, I don't ever want to hurt her or her little girl. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I fear my feelings will get in the way. How do I go about telling her my feelings and asking her to take the next step with me? — More than a Friend, in Austin, Texas

Dear More than a Friend: You're in love with someone who at this point in time does not reciprocate your feelings. Since you want to ensure that no one gets hurt, I suggest that you stay her friend and avoid the temptation to move in with her. Otherwise the potential for one of you, if not all three of you, to get hurt will increase substantially. As her friend, you can both share feelings and encourage each other's dreams and goals. At the same time, you can both date others, so that you can assess your relationship needs with an open heart. If in the future you both realize that this friendship has developed into a mutual attraction, you can reconsider the terms of this relationship, and know that both of you now realize what the other has to offer, and accept a possible future together with open arms. If that never happens, at least you will have a friend you can count on.

Dear John: About four years ago I had a crushing breakup of an engagement. From time to time I still get angry about what happened. As a result, I made a decision to focus on my own advancement and not get involved. But I see others in great relationships, and I wish I could find love, too. Then again, I consider how well I'm doing professionally, and I convince myself that I'm better off without the hassle of a relationship. Is it the resentment that is making me feel this way? —Workaholic, for All the Wrong Reasons, in Chicago, Ill.

Dear Workaholic: Yes, you are still hurt over your previous breakup. Nowhere is it written that one has to sacrifice a happy relationship for a career, or vice versa. Your career is giving you an outlet for accomplishment and self-respect, so enjoy the professional kudos and financial reward you've earned.

As for your personal life, give yourself time to heal. When you are ready, open yourself up to dating others, but don't fixate on the potential of one relationship. Determine what personal traits you seek in others, and make these part of your attraction criteria. If the picture you put out to others is as confident as the one you demonstrate in business, you'll attract many potential partners. Good luck.