Dear John: My boyfriend and I have been together eight years. We are truck drivers, and we're together 24/7. My problem is that I got off the road in order to work closer to home, and he didn't like this. He said if I really loved him, I should stay in the truck and we should continue to work together. Now he says he can't handle this much longer, and that we should end the relationship and get on with our lives separately. We're constantly butting heads. How can we avoid these kinds of conflicts? — Feudin' and Fightin' on Route 66

Dear Feudin' and Fightin': You have a right to want to try something different, and periodically to have some time apart from your partner. In fact, the best relationships thrive when emotional space is given. His desire to want you around all the time is a form of insecurity or lack of trust on his part. Unless he confronts this, eventually it will tear the two of you apart. Hold firm to your position. Ask him to try it for a month. During that time, arrange a time each day when you can talk to each other. When he comes home, let him know that you missed him in your actions and your words. As he gets more comfortable with this arrangement and when his heart is open, suggest that you both talk to a licensed counselor about any trust issues either of you may have. This will go a long way in reassuring him that the relationship is not threatened in any way, and that absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

Dear John: I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months. We are both 21. I finally said yes to sex. Since then, it seems that's all he wants from me. Why is this so? — Feeling Used and Abused, in Bethesda, Md.

Dear Used and Abused: For men, sex is a direct doorway to the heart. Often, if that door has not opened before, or it hasn't been open for a long time, a new relationship will motivate strong desires for sex. The key, however, to a long-term successful relationship is to make sure that both partners' needs are getting met. If you need less passion and he needs more, then a compromise needs to be found. Otherwise you'll feel used, and he'll feel resentful that you aren't as passionate. Openly discuss your needs, and quantify how much sex would satisfy you. For you, that may be twice a week. For him, it may be every day. A reasonable compromise may be three times a week. By keeping a number in mind, you may come to "anticipate" the experience, which may motivate your desire. Remember, sometimes sex doesn't have to be anything more than a "quickie." At other times, it may be more satisfying if you both take your time. You can do this by setting a wonderful stage for romance, then consider ways you can accommodate both of your needs.