Dear John: I've been going out with someone for the last eight months. "Pete" and I got engaged about two months ago. Do you think we may be moving too fast? Everyone I've talked to thinks so, but I believe that once you love someone, no one else's opinion matters except his and your own. Is that right? — Frigid Feet, in Pasadena, Calif.

Dear Frigid Feet: That sounds about right, with one caveat: Now, not after you've tied the "matrimonial knot," is the best time for you to determine if he is indeed the one with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. After all, if he is your soul mate, waiting another year won't matter. During that time, you'll be able to notice if indeed he demonstrates the qualities you're looking for in a mate: enduring love, faithfulness, compatibility and passion. If it turns out he cannot offer what you need in a relationship, you will appreciate the fact that you gave yourself time to find this out, and you will then be better equipped to discern similar concerns in future relationships. You have nothing to lose in going slow. In fact, when you're in love, time stands still.

Dear John: I am a 38-year-old woman. Last night I had a dream about a male friend of mine, as opposed to my significant other. It wasn't just any dream, it was a sex dream! Now I can't stop thinking about him! I even drove by his house before going to work today. Is this a reaction to my dream, or something else? This friend has asked me before to stop by and visit (if you know what I mean), but I'd hate to ruin three friendships merely for a quick roll in the hay. Help! — Fantasy, or Reality, in West Hartford, Conn.

Dear Fantasy, or Reality: You're right, a sexual fantasy about an obviously interested friend is no reason to dump the guy who has demonstrated his love, respect and trust. In fact, the term "friend" hardly describes someone who would suggest that you to set aside your best intentions for a one-night stand. Do yourself a favor and keep your fantasies where they belong: in the privacy of your imagination. In time you'll be thankful that you did.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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