Dear John: I am 31, and I'm coming out of a three-year marriage with my 2-year-old son. For two months I've been dating "Paul," who is wonderful to my son and me. Unfortunately, he's a real jerk to my friends. Paul recently got an entry-level position at a major movie studio and he will not hesitate to throw it in people's faces. Just the other day, when we were at a showcase with other people in the industry, he actually made a young woman move out of her seat because he was from so-and-so. This behavior is wearing thin! I'm trying to get him to understand that it's just not cool with me. Any suggestions? -- Embarrassed in Hollywood, Calif.

Dear Embarrassed: Paul's bravado is his insecure way of trying to impress you and your friends. He has yet to learn that his job isn't nearly as important as how he treats others. Despite this fault, you obviously feel the relationship has real value, so try saying this before your next public outing: "Paul, the thing that attracts me the most about you is your kindness and consideration to me. This is the Paul I know you'd like others to see. When you are kind to others, they respond so well to you! Thanks for letting others see that side of you." Then, allow him to rise to the occasion, or move on with no regrets.

Dear John: My wife and I work at the same company. She belongs to a department where there are a lot of men, and I know that people are saying that she is having an affair with another man who also works here. I have confronted her at different times about the situation, but she has insisted that the rumors are not true. Sometimes we get into arguments about it, and at other times, I deal with it quite well. I do trust my wife, but I'm only human, and sometimes it really gets to me. Can you help me to handle this situation? -- Our Nine to Five Lives, in Miami, Fla.

Dear Nine to Five Lives: Some people feel the need to divide and conquer. If indeed you believe your wife, then the only way both of you are going to rise above this issue is to stand united. This means giving her the message that you trust her. That way, you can work together toward a real solution. One suggestion: Ask your company's human resources administrator if the company has a policy regarding such false and slanderous rumors. If not, one needs to be established. If so, now is the time to adhere to it.

"The Games People Play"

These days, bedroom games are a bit more interesting than boardroom games. In a recent Mars Venus/Redbook poll of 2,126 women, 28 percent claim that they spice up their boudoir repertoire with sex toys. Another 22 percent say that role-playing keeps things fun, while another 2 percent admit that three or more play partners are never a crowd.

However, 33 percent say that bedroom antics are simple — but boring. The final 15 percent don't use anything to spice up their sex lives because they say they don't have one in the first place.

Full results are shown below. To take part in this week's Mars Venus/ Redbook poll, log on to: http://www.redbookmag.com

How spicy is your sex life?

We keep it interesting, with toys. 28 percent

We role-play. 22 percent

We have other play pals. 2 percent

We keep it simple ... and dull. 33 percent

We have no sex life! 15 percent

Total votes 2,126

NOTE: Because poll percentages are rounded, total values may not workout to 100 percent. Poll results are not scientific and reflect only the opinions of those users who choose to partake.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by e-mail at: www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 JOHN GRAY'S MARS VENUS ADVICE

DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.

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