"The difference between the right word and the wrong word," wrote Mark Twain, "is the difference between the lightning and the lightning bug." After reading these "enlightening" bloopers from newspapers and magazines, you'll surely agree. Can you spot the blots?

1. "Maybe lightening will strike by the end of the General Assembly's session." Will the legislators turn blonde? (Ann Duffy, Broad Brook, Conn.)

2. "The fire was the result of a lightening strike." (Mark Lander, Old Lyme, Conn.)

3. "The first-floor bath has a laundry shoot to the basement." Talk about being shot at "clothes" range! (Anastasia Stoletina, Trenton, N.J.)

4. "An administrative assistant has tenured her resignation." (Betty Lundy, West Point, Miss.) 5. "The teenagers had planned a prom around one theme, but when that fell through they adopted another theme in luau of the first." Something Hawaiian? (Susan Worthington, Lexington, Mo.)

6. Next to a check box on an absentee ballot: "My religious tenants . . . forbid secular activity on the day of the referendum." Well, then evict them! (Stuart Sidney, Storrs, Conn.)

7. "The accompanying 7.4-percent spending increase must be reigned in." Well, it is a king-sized increase. (Harold Wiest, Newcastle, Calif.)

8. "Denis of Cork was in last place at the three-quarter poll of the race." Just ahead of "Undecided." (Gerald Daly via email)

9. ["Citizens will be able to] "speak their peace and go home." (Judy Beck, Warren, Mich.)

10. (From a restaurant ad) "Peal and eat shrimp." Perfect for ringing in New Year's Eve. (Oren Spiegler, Upper Saint Clair, Pa.)

11. "He hoped [his comments] were being taken in the proper vain." But not in vain. (Art Frackenpohl, Watertown, N.Y.)

12. "Addis said a handful of dealers have always been able to peak behind the curtain." (Phil DeVergilio, Detroit)

And three from Jo Ann Lawlor of San Jose, Calif.: 13. "The California Public Utilities Commission, which overseas code changes." Man, they're outsourcing everything these days! 14. "[Menopause] is being viewed by many women as a positive right of passage." 15. The seven different colors match the palate of Texas wildflowers." Are they Venus flytraps?

Corrections:

1. lightning 2. lightning 3. chute 4. tendered 5. lieu 6. tenets 7. reined 8. pole 9. piece or pieces 10. Peel 11. vein 12. peek 13. oversees 14. rite 15. palette

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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