DEAR SUSAN: I was surprised and disturbed to find angry male responses to some of your recent advice. For years, I've found you to be the only female columnist (in print, broadcast or Web-based) who is unbiased and supportive of the modern male condition. I've often praised your insight and fairness at pro-male sites I occasionally contribute to. It's very rare today to find a woman in the media who doesn't buy into the cult of victimization or the man-guilty/woman-innocent social doctrine, and I thank you for that.

To answer your comment that there might be something in the air — yes, there is. And I'm afraid you're becoming a casualty of the emerging masculine movement (as many men have become, men who first supported the feminine movement but don't agree with everything they preach, the false and unfair). What happens to us and all nonbelievers is we're stereotyped and vilified.

Men have finally lost their stoic attitude at being seen as de facto batterers, deadbeats and pedophiles — a gender not to be trusted or respected. That anti-male culture produces the perception of being a victim, which in turn produces anger and righteous indignation. That's the course the feminist movement has taken and will probably be adopted by the emerging men's movement.

For the record, I'm 58 years old, married for 34 years and have a wonderful, successful daughter. My resentment has nothing to do with my family, but to my social condition and my sense of justice. I'm sorry if some bitterness of the modern male condition is directed to you. It's certainly not deserved. — Lucas D., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR LUCAS: This is déjà vu all over again (with a nod to Yogi), taking me back a few years to women's outrage at my comment that "sometimes men make better mothers." The harpoons hurt, for sure, but they also thickened my skin … somewhat. I still remember one particularly prickly comment: "Susan Deitz must be a man, she gives so much space to men's letters." Well, my DNA is female through and through, and I do indeed care for the other (not at all "opposite") sex. These days, men get a bad rap for just about anything they do or say, and I'm pleased and proud to be able to speak out on issues affecting them. I still remember the handwritten letter from a young divorced father, scrawled with much emotion on a yellow pad. The judge had awarded his former wife a humongous settlement (plus weekly alimony and child support) and had garnished his wages. He had no idea how he could afford any of it. Oh — one more thing: He was living in his car. We women have been movemented to be equals, friends, allies with the men in our lives. It's time for the second step: reaching out to them. Think about it.

YOURS ALONE. The uniqueness that is yours alone can be a lifelong ally throughout all of life's seasons. A life lived true to that self will be constantly unfolding, expanding. And while you are moving into that larger self, challenge yourself to remain eager about your life and firmly connected to your spirituality. Lived that way, life will have few boundaries; work and relationships will be natural outgrowths of a daily communion with your inner and outer worlds. That integration will better you and every person you meet on your journey, whether you are traveling as part of a couple or single file.

I wish it for all of us.

"Who has not found the heavens below

Will fail of it above.

God's residence is next to mine,

His furniture is love." — Emily Dickinson

Write to Susan Deitz c/o this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com.

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