More than one hundred million strong — and soon to become a majority — the single community affirms the undependent life.

I RESOLVE to think for myself in all situations rather than allow an "expert" to decide the course of my life. While I will remain open to wise counsel, I alone will make the final decision in matters affecting my life. And when there are shared decisions to be made, I will make myself heard.

I RESOLVE to remain aware of my undependence/wholeness/individuality at all times, especially when in a coupled relationship. While not encroaching on my partner's needs, I will be vigilant in voicing my own.

I RESOLVE to nurture worthwhile friendships and to be a loving friend, since an undependent life is not meant to shut out relationships. I will cultivate friendships with people of all ages, from every conceivable background, as long as they enrich the lives of both of us.

I RESOLVE to build commonality and understanding with the other sex, believing they are neither alien nor enemy. I will strive to establish authentic intimacy that goes far beyond sexual activity.

I RESOLVE, when possible (and appropriate) to decide the pattern of my life: personal development, career goals, and interpersonal relationships.

I RESOLVE to keep my single status incidental, aware it does not define who I am or what I can give to the world. In the bigger picture of my life, martial status is not of major significance. Meaningful involvement is.

I RESOLVE to bear with occasional loneliness, consciously resisting urges to flee from it into mindless — or loveless — company. Knowing that marriage is no buffer against its twinges, I will not use an impulsive commitment to escape being alone. Loneliness may be part of the human condition, but aloneness can be experienced quite differently when I use it to become compatible with myself. And that in no way makes for a loner's existence. Quite the opposite. Compatibility with oneself is the single most important prerequisite for successful love partnership.

I RESOLVE to maximize the possibilities for growth within my singleness. Being unmarried has its disadvantages, but I will do all I can with its many positives.

Write to Susan Deitz c/o this newspaper. She will answer all letters that come with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Or you may e-mail her at info@creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.