Q. My fourth-grade son is a very fast learner and is bored with school. He also has a tendency to lose his schoolwork. His teacher has very high expectations regarding independence and responsibility and is very strict about deadlines. My son isn't as socially or emotionally independent as some in the class. He attends a small school and his teacher has told him that she will fail him if he doesn't get work turned in on time. He says that most of the assignments require him to regurgitate simple and insignificant information. His teacher believes that being stricter about deadlines will teach him to turn work in on time. How do I approach her about his boredom with the work and his level of maturity without sounding like she's doing everything wrong?

A. It's often difficult to determine if a child who claims boredom is under-challenged or over-challenged or both. For example, a child who knows math well and hates repetition may indeed be struggling with handwriting. He could be more anxious to avoid writing than the math. An evaluation by a school or private psychologist who understands gifted issues could guide you in communicating with the teacher. The school's gifted coordinator could also help you to interpret his complaints and his need for challenge. I've often arranged with teachers to contract with gifted children to do only odd numbers of assignments as long as the child provides good quality work and gets assignments done on time. That special privilege is motivating to children and they're more eager to accomplish their work. Because they don't require as much repetition this seems like a responsible compromise. If your son's work is truly too easy for him, the teacher could pretest him on chapters and permit him to move ahead to work where he can be challenged.

It's also very important for you to help your son with his organizational skills. Staying reasonably organized is important for achieving well in school and in life.

For a free newsletter about gifted children, underachievement, or learning organizational skills, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more information.

Incentives Sometimes Help

Q. Is it ever OK to bribe your teen to make better grades? My daughter is 16 and a junior in high school. Finals are coming up, and her grades could go either way. Either four A's and two B's or four B's and two C's. I know she's capable of getting the better grades, although studying would put a damper on her social life. These grades should be important because of college ahead. I thought an incentive might be good, and we've never given one before. If it's a good idea, what would be an appropriate incentive?

A. You'll want to talk to your daughter about your idea to see if she's interested in an incentive system. You'll want to refer to it as a reward instead of a bribe (same difference, but it will sound better to her). If she's saving up for something she wants, money might be just the right encouragement. If she doesn't believe that studying will help anyway, she'll probably tell you she's not interested. Money often works well with teens and can be given for A's and B's (more for A's than B's) and subtracted for C's, D's, or F's (more subtracted for D's and F's). Incentives work better for short-term studying for exams than they do for a whole quarter. They don't work as well long term because students often get discouraged when they get less than expected on a test, thus they give up.

For a free newsletter about underachievement, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read "Solving the Mysterious Underachievement Problem" at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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