Q. We have five children: a sixth grader, a third grader, one in kindergarten and two preschoolers. When our oldest started first grade, we rewarded him with $5 for every A on his report card. It's been a great motivator and something that he, and now our daughter, seems to work towards achieving. Do you think this is a good idea? Are we setting ourselves up for competition or other issues? So far, I can tell that our 8-year-old seems to learn things quickly and doesn't have to study as much (my reason for concern). We haven't had any negative issues with this reward system and I'd like to continue it. I feel it's a great motivator, but I'm concerned about other recourses.

A. Paying your children $5 for an A isn't usually a suggestion I'd make. Ideally, children should be motivated to learn and get good grades because they want them. On the other hand, since your approach is working, it probably does no harm. There's a good chance that down the line, one of your children will decide he or she can't get A's and will become upset or think this is unfair. Your children could even decide it's not worth working in school at all unless they can get A's. If all five of them become straight-A students, you'll have created a small miracle. By that time, getting A's will have become such a habit in your family that the children may assume that they're a whole, smart family. Maybe they'll even start saving their money for college!

I can tell you that paying for A's doesn't always work for children, but the only major drawback I see for you comes when your child works really hard and misses an A anyway. Hopefully, that won't feel like a disaster, and he or she will work that much harder next quarter. Remind your children that effort counts and that B's don't spell disaster, only disappointment, and I think they should be fine.

For free newsletters about keys to parenting your gifted child or the principles of parenting, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.

Boy Fights Taking Meds

Q. We have a 6-year-old son who is prescribed Adderall for ADHD. Every morning is stressful and upsetting with tears and screaming because he won't take his medicine. We mix his medication with applesauce, but taking it is a real battle. What can we do?

A. I don't know why your son is fighting taking his medication, but discovering the reason may be helpful to finding the cure. Assuming you win this battle most of the time, perhaps his battle means that the medicine doesn't help, but makes him feel bad. If that's the case, you need to communicate with his doctor about his response. There are multiple medications that can be used for ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), and children have very different responses to them. The doctor may want to suggest an alternative.

If the battle is related to the unpleasant taste your son associates with the meds, applesauce is a good solution, if he likes applesauce. If that doesn't work, mashed bananas, peaches, or yogurt may be other mixes he prefers. Adding stars to a chart if your son takes his medicine happily can also motivate him. He can even earn small prizes for every 10 successes.

Finally, it's important that his parents are united on this medication issue. If he believes that one of you prefers he not take it that would be a reason for his daily battle.

For a free newsletter about ADHD, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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