Q. I was at your talk when you answered the question about a child whom the parents call a "lawyer" because he always argues about everything. I was wondering how you handle a situation if you're in a time crunch and your 5-year-old daughter decides she doesn't like what she's wearing to school. How do you diffuse this situation without time?

A. You're referring to the anti-arguing routine I recommend to parents when their children argue continually. Incidentally, for those of you who are attorneys, this isn't a bad lawyer joke. It's actually what parents tend to label their litigious children, and the label keeps them arguing.

While your daughter's arguments about clothes could lead her to become a frequent arguer, you can divert the pattern from becoming a bad habit by having her get her clothes out for school the night before. Then she can slip into them quickly in the morning without any decision-making. Some children seem a bit crabbier in the morning, and parents soon find themselves nagging them to get ready. The nagging and arguing become an unpleasant morning habit. I've invented an easy-to-follow anti-nag morning routine that helps parents stop nagging and encourages children's independence. Since children, particularly young ones, don't want to miss or be late for school, it's very effective. Both routines are in my book "How to Parent So Children Will Learn" (Great Potential Press, 2008), but I've included the morning routine below. It's a great guideline to use if you find yourself nagging your children every morning.

Anti-Nag Morning Routine

Step 1: Announce to your children one at a time the guidelines for the new beginning. From this day forth, they will be responsible for getting themselves ready for school. Your job will be to await them at the breakfast table for a pleasant morning chat.

Step 2: Preparations the night before will include laying out their clothes and getting their books ready in their book bags. An evening checklist will let them prepare without your help. They should set the alarm early enough to allow plenty of morning time. They will feel just as tired at 7 a.m. as they will at 6:30, but the earlier start will prevent their usual rush.

Step 3: Children wake themselves up (absolute no calls from others), wash, dress and pick up their room. A morning checklist can help them to remember each task. Breakfast comes only when they are ready for school. Absolutely no nagging!

Step 4: Parent waits at the breakfast table and is not anywhere around them prior to their meal together. Then, enjoy a pleasant family breakfast and conversation about the day ahead.

Step 5: Optional: If the children are ready early and enjoy a morning television program, they can watch until it's time to leave.

For a free newsletter that includes the anti-arguing routine, send a large, self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI, 53094, or go to www.sylviarimm.com for more parenting information.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.