Q. My wife has a 9-year-old boy from a previous relationship. His father has never been in his life. We've been married for about two years, and the relationship between my stepson and me has been pretty good.

We found out we were pregnant and soon afterward my stepson began having "nightmares." These nightmares were about the end of the world. He was hysterical, frantic and not consolable, but he didn't want to talk about them. He just kept saying that we needed to do something. These nightmares occurred every couple of days.

Now he never sleeps through the entire night. He wakes up every 90 minutes or so and talks complete gibberish. He'll come into our bedroom and he won't leave until somebody escorts him back to his room. He's stubborn at these times and will not listen to anything. The only thing that seems to comfort him is if his mother goes into his room with him. She fell asleep with him a couple of times. If she leaves him, he wakes up minutes later and comes into our room again. He doesn't seem to recall these episodes the next morning.

He's also very "clingy" to his mother during the time that we spend together as a family. I'm guessing that the impending baby is causing him some sort of separation anxiety from his mother. Do you have any insight or advice for us?

A. Your stepson is probably experiencing night terrors and unlike typical bad dreams, they do present themselves in this unexplainable and frightening form without next-day remembrances. Although there's little confirmation on what causes night terrors, why they appear, and why they fortunately also suddenly disappear, I expect your guess that they are related to his mother's pregnancy is correct. Being an only child for nine years can feel secure, and he may feel as if a new baby will be an interruption.

Try to keep your bonding going with your stepson and plan some fun adventures. As he builds more confidence in his relationship with you, his clinginess to his mother is likely to disappear. Then patiently wait until the terrors pass. It's also important that his mother not sleep with him, but only walk him back to his own bed to comfort him briefly. She may have to close your bedroom door to prevent his joining you again in bed, but your closed door is likely to send him back to his room. If she does this for a few weeks, the terrors are likely to disappear.

On the other hand, if his night terrors continue or get worse, a visit to a psychologist can provide some insights as to whether there are more in-depth problems.

For free newsletters about children with fears and fearful children, or helping children cope with divorce, send a large self-addressed, stamped envelope to P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094, or read other parenting articles at www.sylviarimm.com.

Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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