DR. WALLACE: What's the most sensible way to lose extra pounds and to keep them from returning? Keep your answer as short, but potent, as possible. I don't need to spend a lot of time reading something that should take 15 seconds. — Nameless, Plattsburgh, N.Y.

NAMELESS: Being active and eating smart are the best ways to lose weight and keep it off. This should be read and comprehended in seven seconds or less!

PARENTS MUST WEAR HELMETS WHEN BIKE RIDING

DR. WALLACE: I appreciated your column telling children of all ages to wear a certified helmet when they ride a bicycle. But you should have mentioned that parents should also wear helmets. I have often seen families riding by our house and the parents don't have on helmets. Aren't they the most important people in their children's lives? — Linda, Goshen, Ind.

LINDA: Thanks for noticing my oversight. Parents are indeed the most important people in their children's lives, and they, too, should wear a properly-fitting certified helmet. They must protect themselves from injury because they also need to set a good example.

DUMP EX-BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER AND HIS INAPPROPRIATE QUESTIONS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and dating Jason, who is 17. Before going out with him, I dated his brother, Michael, who is my age. We went together for over a year and I cared for him very much. Michael and I were intimate because I thought having sex with him would be a sure way of keeping him, but I was wrong because we broke up when he wanted to date other girls.

Soon after the breakup, Jason called and asked me out. I accepted since he is a nice guy and I enjoy going out with him. Jason knows that his brother and I were sexually intimate. Sometimes when we are together, he asks questions like, "How many times did you have sex with Michael? Where did it take place? Did he use a condom?" When I answer his questions honestly, he becomes angry and calls me nasty names. When he isn't asking me these questions, he is extremely nice and sweet.

Last night Jason asked me if I ever had sex with any other guy. I told him no, that I was a virgin when I first had sex with his brother. He got mad; he called me a liar and a lot more. He then accused me of being worse than a prostitute. I started crying. He became angrier and said that "Tears won't mask the truth."

Now I'm confused. Should I stop seeing Jason, or continue seeing him but refuse to discuss my relationship with Michael? — Nameless, Jackson, Miss.

NAMELESS: Jason's insults are way over the edge — I urge you to drop him immediately. Whatever happened between you and Michael is none of Jason's business, but now that he thinks that it is, he'll never stop badgering you. Your first mistake was being intimate with Michael. The second mistake was answering questions from Jason about the encounter.

You have learned the hard way that sex is not the answer to making relationships last. More times than not, a sexual relationship dooms a romance. In your case, it has doomed not one, but two romances. It has certainly brought out the worst in Jason.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Avoid Eating and Drinking while Driving to Reduce Accidents

TEENS: Driving is serious work. Controlling a three-ton vehicle traveling at speeds up to 65 mph requires total concentration. Anything that causes distraction is simply unacceptable.

Lately, several states have placed limits on using a hand-held cellular phone while operating a vehicle. This is eminently sensible. Driving with only one hand while arguing with your girlfriend or boyfriend can lead to disaster.

Now comes research that the spillage of food or drink while driving also causes many accidents. Data from the National Highway Safety Administration and the Network of Employers for Traffic Safety indicated that eating while driving is bad, but spilling is worse. Most accidents due to spills happen in the morning when drivers are on their way to school or work. After a spill, the driver tries to clean the drink or food off his clothes, which results in a crash.

Researchers have identified 10 foods and beverages to avoid when you drive. The worst is hot coffee, followed by hot soup, tacos, chili-covered food, juicy hamburgers, barbecue sauce, fried chicken, jelly- filled donuts, soft drinks and, finally, chocolate.

Are you guilty of consuming any of these when you're behind the wheel? If so, please wise up. If you're hungry or thirsty, stop the car and go to a restaurant. Or pull into a rest stop or a parking lot if you've brought a snack with you. What's your hurry? You've got a whole lifetime ahead of you.

LISTEN TO INNER VOICE WHEN DECIDING TO SEE LYING EX-BOYFRIEND

DR. WALLACE: I'm in my last year of being a teen. Two years ago, I met a guy at a party and we started dating. Before long, I discovered that he was a big liar. He lied about his age (he said he was 19, he was 22), his religion (he said he was Catholic, he was born Jewish), his family and his job. I got tired of his lies and stopped dating him.

I then dated another guy for over a year, but we broke up because he wanted to get married and I didn't. Then he wanted us to live together and I didn't like that idea.

Last week the guy who had a problem telling the truth called me; he said he was sorry for telling so many lies. He claimed he has changed his ways and will never be untruthful to me again. I went out with him, but things just weren't the same. I didn't feel comfortable with him; therefore, I said that I didn't want to see him again.

He called my mom and guess what? He convinced her that he has changed. Now she is "pressuring" me to give him a second chance. What should I do? My inner voice says no to the idea. — Nameless, Gary, Ind.

NAMELESS: By all means listen to your inner voice. It's your life and whom you date is strictly up to you. Your mom should stay out of it. As well as being a liar, Mr. "I've Changed My Ways" seems to be a slick talker. The two often go hand-in-hand.

DON'T KISS BOYFRIEND WHEN HE HAS A COLD SORE

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend has a cold sore that looks horrible. He said it will go away in a few days and is not contagious. He keeps trying to kiss me, but I won't let him. His lip looks gross! What's the deal with cold sores? — Sue, Holland, Mich.

SUE: Cold sores are highly contagious. Avoid all kissing while he's infected. Caused by a common virus (herpes simplex), more than half of the adult population is infected with this incurable virus. Cold sores cause discomfort, but are not considered to be a serious illness. They appear worse than they are — sometimes they even look gross.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teens Shouldn't Waste Years Waiting for Loved Ones to Leave Prison

DR. WALLACE: You said that an 18-year-old girl should not be loyal and wait until her boyfriend is released from prison. He is serving a nine-year sentence for burglary and arson. I strongly disagree. If two people are in love, one should not bail out if the other gets in a jam.

I love my guy, and I would wait for him no matter how long we would be separated. Just thinking about being in his arms is enough to sustain me until we meet again. Also, what would you say if the couple was married and one of them was in prison? — Cammie, Lake Charles, La.

CAMMIE: I can understand that a married person would be loyal and faithful to a mate. But if the mate was incarcerated for a long time (or for life), it would be honorable if the person behind bars would offer to give the spouse legal freedom.

Please read the following letter from a wife who has been waiting 14 years and must wait another two years. Her message is loud and clear.

DR. WALLACE: I'm writing to all those young women who wonder if they should be loyal and faithful to guys who are serving time in prison. I'm a 36-year-old woman who has spent the past 14 years waiting and will wait another two years.

My husband has been in and out of jail and prison since he was 19. His last sentence was for armed robbery and kidnapping. When the police arrived, he took a hostage while robbing a liquor store.

My husband is kind and sensitive, and I love him very much. He has done time on four occasions for crimes he has been associated with. Each time, he promised to "straighten up and fly right." He honestly tried, but somehow he always wound up in trouble with the law.

The teen years are a very special age, a fun and adventuresome age. It's not meant to be spent visiting jails and prisons, or writing endless letters while you watch your friends going out on dates. I've met many females who, like me, have spent the best years of our lives waiting. All of us share one thing in common — misery.

I could write 10 books on the pain I have experienced being married to a professional criminal. I'm married; I must wait. But if I were single, I would have moved on and never looked back. And if I knew then, what I know now, I never would have married this man. This man has put my children and me through torture and agony.

The females who choose to wait for their men who are behind steel bars are actually prisoners themselves, sequestered behind invisible bars. — Legal, but unhappy wife, Hammond, La.

WIFE: Thanks for sharing your experience with our teen readers. They learn much from those who have "been there and done that."

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Tanning Booths Aren't Safer than Sun Rays

DR. WALLACE: Summer is over. Due to the rainy weather this summer, I didn't get a good suntan. I'd like to bronze-up by going to a tanning booth. My friend who loves tanning booths said that it is safer to tan in a booth than take direct rays from the sun.

Is this true? I want a nice tan, but I also don't want skin cancer. — Ginger, Gary, Ind.

GINGER: Here are the facts:

Regularly roasting to a golden tan under sunlamps can increase a woman's risk of malignant melanoma, a sometimes fatal skin cancer, and the younger she starts, the greater the risk, according to a recent, extensive Scandinavian study.

The Women's Lifestyle and Health Cohort Study investigated the tanning habits of 106,379 Norwegian and Swedish women over an eight-year period. Analysts said the data presents the strongest evidence yet that artificial tanning can be dangerous to even healthy skin.

About 50,000 cases of melanoma are diagnosed annually in North America and about 7,500 people die each year from this disease, according to the American Academy of Dermatology.

But don't believe that the sun's rays are safer than tans from tanning booths. When the color of human skin changes, be it red from sunburn or a golden goddess bronze, skin damage has occurred — whether from time in the sun or from time in a tanning booth.

In other words: There is no such thing as a "healthy tan."

LATEX CONDOMS ARE MORE EFFECTIVE AGAINST STDS

DR. WALLACE: Our family living teacher told our class that condoms are 99.8 percent effective against sexually transmitted diseases including AIDS, if used properly. I didn't want to correct the teacher, but I remember reading in a teen magazine that STDs can go through a condom. Who's right?

I want to know because my boyfriend and I are sexually active on a regular basis, and I insist that he use a condom. I know you encourage teens not to be sexually active, but as you can see, I didn't take your advice. All I'm asking for are facts without a lecture. — Sylvia, Naples, Fla.

SYLVIA: There are two types of condoms. One is made of latex (rubber) and the other is created with animal skin or membrane. The latex condoms are much more reliable and considered to be 99.9 percent effective. Condoms, made of animal skin or membrane, are porous; it's possible for STDs to penetrate this type of condom due to microscopic openings in the material.

But the only sure way to keep from coming in contact with the STDs is to refrain from sexual contact, avoiding contact with contaminated blood or blood products. Sharing needles for shooting drugs is also a common way to spread the virus.

Please don't consider this message to be a lecture aimed at you. Many teens will also be reading my response and they need this information.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Hugging Between Students and Teachers is a Risky Practice

DR. WALLACE: Our history teacher is a "hugger." Every day he hugs one or two girls before and after class; he never plays favorites. He has hugged me a dozen times and my best friend the same amount. There is nothing sexual about his hugs. It's just his way of showing that he cares about his students. For the boys, he gives them a handshake. This teacher has hugged his students all the years he has been teaching at our school — a total of 10 years.

Last week, several parents went to the school board and complained that this teacher was making sexual advances toward some of his female students. The board told him that he had to stop touching all of his students or he would be suspended from teaching. He agreed that he would honor their request.

I think this is terrible. This teacher is married and has three children. Never, ever, has he done anything improper to his students. My older sister also had this teacher, and yes, she was hugged — she thinks he was the best teacher she ever had.

Since you are a former high school principal, would you be upset if one of your more popular male teachers hugged his students in a nonsexual way? — Nameless, Phoenix.

NAMELESS: Teacher-student hugging is a dicey practice loaded with the potential for misunderstanding. While I believe the teacher's intentions were innocent, the school board was right to tell him to stop for his own protection as well as his students'. I wouldn't have waited 10 years to do so.

TEEN WANTS TO ESCAPE FIGHTING AND ANGRY PARENTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 years old and I'd like to move in with my friend and her parents. They said I could if my parents gave permission, but mom and dad refuse; they have told me not to ask again.

I want to move because my parents are always arguing and wind up calling each other names — bad names. Whenever this happens (about four times a week), I either close myself up in my bedroom or go over to my friend's house if it isn't too late.

What can I do to convince my parents to let me move in with my friend? I hope you can help me. My life is really miserable. — Nameless, Atlanta.

NAMELESS: Your parents are completely unaware of the emotional trauma they are inflicting on you when they have their outrageous blowouts with each other. The solution is not for you to move out, but for them to pull their act together.

I'll do my part by printing your letter. You do your part by making sure they read it. I hope they will see themselves through your eyes and find a way to make life more pleasant for all concerned.

HICKEYS ARE BRUISES THAT CAN TAKE WEEKS TO HEAL

DR. WALLACE: What are hickeys and how do you get rid of them? Of course, I know how they are caused. I just don't like how they look. — Sandy, Willmar, Minn.

SANDY: A hickey is actually a bruise caused by broken blood vessels and can take up to three weeks to vanish. Since you know what causes hickeys and you don't like how they look, why don't you stop your boyfriend from acting like Count Dracula?

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teacher is Frustrated with After-School Programs and Unavailable Parents

DR. WALLACE: I read recently that our schools should provide more after-school activities for students who could be classified as "home alone" students. I object! I'm a teacher at a junior high school. Students come to school to learn the basic skills of reading, writing and arithmetic, not soccer, skip-rope and pingpong.

Why should the school be forced to provide "quality" activities to students whose parents hold down two jobs just to keep up with the Joneses? Already, we are told to teach their children subjects they should be responsible for. We educate children on how to drive a car and why they shouldn't have sex. Now we are expected to baby-sit them after school in order for mama and papa to make more money.

Please, give me a break. Some schools provide breakfast for students, all supply lunch, and I won't be surprised if we start serving dinner. After all, it's the school's responsibility to see that its students get three well-balanced meals daily. Most parents are selfish and happy to have the schools take full responsibility to teach their children skills that only parents should explain. If I sound bitter, it's because I am bitter. — Teacher, San Francisco.

TEACHER: I don't know the experiences that have driven you to this level of anger, but I sure can smell the smoke emanating from your letter. The term for your attitude is "burnout."

That said, let me respond to your bitter remarks. Yes, our schools do more than teach reading, writing and arithmetic; however, the various activities you denigrate complement an academic curriculum and should not be considered detriments — it's called balance.

Schools are centers for all kinds of learning. Children need skills in many areas to make the transition to adulthood, and a great deal of those requisite tools, over the course of many decades, have become the responsibility, or co-responsibility, of the American school system. This includes driver's training and sex education.

In both cases, schools are in an excellent position to supplement parental efforts. For instance, a state-certified driving instructor can teach young people rules of the road and proper procedures in a systematic way, something most parents would be unable to do. Wise parents combine their own driving experience with the school instruction to help their children become conscientious drivers, and everyone benefits.

Much the same is true about sex education. Teachers are in a good position to give young people a health and safety overview about sex and reproduction that adds to parental guidance. Schools can't do it alone, of course, but even in those (sadly, far too numerous) situations where parents abandon their responsibilities, at least teens are getting some guidance about safe sex.

The boost for a quality after-school program for "home alone" students is primarily due to a recent survey. The Junior Achievement/Harris Interactive Poll of youths between ages 8 and 14 found that 33 percent of boys and 11 percent of girls spend two or more hours home alone after school. And only about 12 percent of these students participate in organized after-school activities.

The National Center for Juvenile Justice has reported that children are at greater risk of becoming involved in crime and substance abuse when left alone after school. That's why schools need to provide this service; it benefits all concerned: parents, community, and most of all, the students.

Always remember, my teacher friend, that public schools belong to the people, not the teachers and administrators. As long as the facilities are available, we should use them.

Somewhere along the line you've lost your ability to relate to parents, to the point where you've come to doubt the fundamental partnership you have with them. My great fear is that your bitterness will be reflected in the classroom.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.