DR. WALLACE: Our son applied to attend Stanford University in Palo Alto, Calif., and he is extremely disappointed that they did not accept him as a student. He is now saying that he doesn't desire to go to college and wants to be a taxi driver.

My husband and I are at "wit's end;" we don't know how to motivate him to attend another college or university. Josh reads your column every day, so please give him some encouragement. — Mom, San Mateo, Calif.

MOM AND JOSH: We all know that rejection can be painful — and there's plenty of pain being felt by students who fail to get into the college of their choice. The pain is intensified if they believe that all future success depends on getting accepted at a "top" school.

In a report on college rejection, Paul Kelleher, the principal of Scarsdale High School in New York, said that the pressure to get into a leading school is now more intense than ever.

"This is a time of great financial stress in the country," he said. "Students now feel that if they don't go to one of the top 15 or 20 schools, college life is over."

Students who were rejected by their first choice admitted in an interview for the report that the shock had been difficult to overcome.

"I thought my life was over," Sandra, a straight-A student from New York, recalled after she was turned down by her first, and only, college choice, the University of Notre Dame. "I had never felt so alone." Happily, Sandra ended up attending Duke University and loving it. But her initial feelings of despair are shared by a growing number of students today.

Howard Green, a former admissions dean at Princeton University, emphasizes that college rejection is not a personal putdown.

"A selective college," Green says, "is one that, by definition, receives applications from many more qualified kids than it can ever accept. After the initial shock, many students come to realize that rejection is not the tragedy it first seems."

What counts for serious students, the experts say, are strong undergraduate achievements. They stress that "the student who works hard and does well at a less prestigious college has just as good a chance of getting admitted to 'selective' graduate schools as the student who attended a 'prestigious' school of higher learning."

Sometimes rejection can be a blessing in disguise. When forced to re-evaluate their goals, many students are pleasantly surprised by the school they eventually do attend.

Josh, a community college can be a good selection for you. Courses taken there can be applied to a bachelor's degree at all colleges and universities. A friend of mine studied two years at a community college in Visalia, Calif., transferred to Stanford and graduated two years later with a bachelor's degree. He later earned a master's degree from this "prestigious" university.

If there is a will, there is a way! Go for it!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, AUGUST 05, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen's Slim Build Doesn't Mean She is Anorexic

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and I have a slender build. I am not a health nut, but I try hard not to eat junk foods. I also participate on the cross-country team at my high school.

About three months ago, my grandmother came from Poland to live with us. She is a wonderful person and I'm thrilled to have her here, but she does bug me. She keeps telling my mother (she speaks little English) that I'm too thin and if I don't put on weight soon that I'll become sick.

This has caused my mom to wonder if I could be anorexic. Trust me, I'm not! I eat three meals a day and my snacks include raw veggies and fruit. It just so happens that I eat little of my grandmother's Polish cooking and baking. It all looks delicious and I'm sure that it is, but it's loaded with unnecessary calories. My grandmother is quite plump — I'm sure it's because her calorie intake is out of control. In the past five years, I have not missed one day of school and I plan to keep up that record.

What can I do to convince my mom and grandmother that I'm physically fit and don't need any extra pounds? I must admit that it bothers me that my family thinks I'm undernourished. I'm not! Help! — Nameless, Crown Point, Ind.

NAMELESS: Simply put, people have three body types: slim, medium and bulky. You are probably in the slim category. This means that it's more difficult for you to add 10 pounds than it is for someone with a bulky build.

By eating properly and exercising regularly, people in all three body types can enjoy excellent health. The fact that you are eating three meals daily and snack on raw veggies and fruit is evidence that you are not anorexic. Health experts agree that if a person is eating properly, it is almost impossible to be too thin. Make sure your mom reads my answer and shares it with grandmother.

As a teenager, I grew up in your area with many Polish-American families. I can vouch that Polish cooking and baking not only looks delicious; but also tastes delicious. It takes extreme self-discipline not to overeat that wonderful food.

DRINKING EVERY DAY CAN BE CONSIDERED ALCOHOLISM

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend is not a heavy drinker, but he does like a couple of beers every night. I have never seen him drunk or even tipsy.

My father doesn't drink any kind of alcohol whatsoever, and he despises those who do, since both of his parents were alcoholics who died relatively young due to their drinking habits. Dad doesn't like me to be seeing Ted because one day he smelled alcohol on his breath. Ted told dad he has a couple of beers a day, but has his alcohol intake under control. My dad thinks that two drinks a day qualifies the drinker to be called an alcoholic.

Please tell dad he's misinformed. Two beers is not a lot to drink in a day. Some of Ted's friends drink a six-pack of beer daily. — Celeste, Hackensack, N.J.

CELESTE: Someone can be considered an alcoholic not only by the amount he drinks, but also by how often. Since your boyfriend consumes alcohol daily, he has, by definition, a drinking problem. He could very well be an alcoholic, or on his way to becoming one. And the fact that he has friends who are capable of putting away a six-pack of beer a day means he's part of a drinking culture; his role models and peers are heavy drinkers.

Sorry, but dad is right. You're seeing a young man who drinks too much.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Interfaith Marriages Can Work with Flexibility and Respect

DR. WALLACE: I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20, and we seriously love each other. It so happens that I'm Jewish and he's Catholic. We are considering getting married when we finish college. He graduates in two years; I'm out in three. My parents are upset because Mitch is "outside the faith." Mitch's parents are also alarmed.

We realize that it won't be easy to continue our religions, but we plan to do just that, at least until I become pregnant. Then one of us will change, for the sake of our child. I'd like your input please. I've been reading your column for more than six years and I value your opinion. — Susan, Champaign, Ill.

SUSAN: Interfaith marriages can work when they contain not only a great deal of love, but also tolerance, flexibility and respect for the other person's beliefs. For starters, you need to think about this matter more thoroughly. To merely say "One of us will change," when you become pregnant, is dangerously vague.

Are you prepared to convert to Catholicism? Is Mitch prepared to change to Judaism? What is the nature of your respective faiths? Do both of you attend services regularly, and is doing so a deep and crucial part of your lives?

You and Mitch should meet together with your rabbi and his priest. Get their input on interfaith marriages. Perhaps one of them could put you in touch with a couple with the same religious backgrounds who have a successful, happy marriage. The more you talk about all this with caring, knowledgeable people, the more likely you are to make the right decision.

One last recommendation: Each of you should pray for guidance. Some answers are to be found only in reverent solitude.

BE NICE TO SISTER TO RECEIVE SIMILAR QUALITIES

DR. WALLACE: I am a 13-year-old girl. I have four older siblings and a sister who is a year younger. I get along great with my older brothers and sisters, but my younger sister and I are constantly at each other's throats. Lately, I can't stand her being near me. I really do love her and want to be her friend, but I don't know what to do to accomplish this near-impossible feat. Can you help? — Carla, Lake Charles, La.

CARLA: You can't control how your sister acts toward you, but you can control how you act toward your sister. Most times when a person shows kindness and respect, those qualities are returned. Give it a try: be especially nice to your sister. Bend over backward to be kind and friendly. This may cause your sister to wonder whether you're ill; however, when she gets over her shock she'll be delighted with the new you. What else can she do but be nice in return?

BOYFRIEND CAN'T AVOID RESPONSIBILITY

DR. WALLACE: I've been dating a guy for over two years, but for the past year we seem to argue about everything. In fact, he said he doesn't like being in a relationship because relationships make him be responsible, and he doesn't want to be responsible for anything.

Do you think there is something that I can do to make this relationship work? — Sherry, Elizabethtown, Ky.

SHERRY: Any guy who shuns responsibility is not worth keeping. Tell this guy to hit the road and keep on traveling.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, AUGUST 7, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Prohibition Caused More Negatives than Positives with the American Public

DR. WALLACE: My parents are divorced because my father was addicted to alcohol. Living with this man was a nightmare. When he was sober (rarely) he was a wonderful husband and father, but when under the influence of alcohol he was an abusive monster.

At one time, it was illegal to sell alcohol in the United States. How long did this last? Why was the law changed to allow alcohol to be sold and cause untold hardships on American families? — Nameless, Galesburg, Ill.

NAMELESS: In 1920, the Congress of the United States passed a constitutional amendment banning the sale of all types of alcohol. This ban (Prohibition) lasted 13 years, and studies conducted during this time span showed that there was a sharp drop in health problems related to alcohol consumption, especially cirrhosis of the liver. Another plus was an extreme drop in family violence and discord — that was the upside.

Unfortunately, Prohibition also gave birth to a large and violent criminal organization devoted to selling alcohol illegally. Lawmakers ultimately decided the experiment caused more problems than it solved and termed it a failure. Prohibition was repealed in 1933.

MOM'S SECOND HUSBAND IS TEEN'S FATHER

DR. WALLACE: My father left when I was 7. I've only heard from him twice in the past six years — I'm now 13. Three years ago, my mother married Rick. He is a super guy who has made my mother and me very happy.

Last week, a friend asked me who my real father was and I said Rick. Then she said, "I mean your real father." Again, I said Rick and that made her mad.

Should I have told her about the man who deserted my mother and me? This girl knows that Rick is mom's second husband. — Nameless, Rock Island, Ill.

NAMELESS: Your real father is Rick to anyone who inquires.

PUBERTY HAPPENS AT DIFFERENT AGES

DR. WALLACE: I know the word adolescence means the change from child to young adult, but at what age does this occur? I'm 13, but I don't think I'm a young adult yet. My voice is still squeaky and I haven't started to get body hair yet. Am I what you would call a late bloomer? — Billy, Tupelo, Miss.

BILLY: Some people enter adolescence at age 10, while others wait until age 13 or 14. This stage generally lasts two to three years. Mother Nature decides this.

Consider yourself a late bloomer, but have no fear because you will bloom. Mother Nature is never wrong.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, AUGUST 8, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Kiss on the First Date Only if the Feeling is Mutual

DR. WALLACE: I'm 15 and will have my first date soon. I know this is a dumb question, but is it all right to kiss on the first date? I'm too embarrassed to ask any of my friends. — Nameless, Talladega, Ala.

NAMELESS: There's no such thing as a dumb question. The only way to learn is to ask and never feel ashamed for doing so.

It's all right to kiss on the first date if it's by mutual consent. In a Gallup poll, most 15- to 17-year-olds said they don't kiss on the first date. Forty-three percent said yes, while 57 percent said no kissing on a first date.

FIND OUT INTERESTS TO HELP DATE CONVERSATION

DR. WALLACE: I'm a shy 17-year-old young woman. I've only dated two guys and both of them stopped calling after a couple of dates. I'm convinced they stopped showing interest in me because I'm shy and not a good conversationalist.

A certain guy who attends my church appears to be showing interest in me. Last Sunday he asked me if I would attend our church summer program with him. I told him yes, but I'm nervous because I don't know how to initiate a conversation. Any help will be appreciated and please hurry. — Nameless, St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada.

NAMELESS: Since you're worried about your ability to keep a conversation going, I recommend a proactive approach. If you talk to one or two people who know this guy and learn a little about him — his interests and hobbies, for instance — he won't be a complete mystery to you when you go out with him.

For example, if he is a hockey fan, it wouldn't hurt to do a little research about the Toronto Maple Leafs; you can ask him a knowledgeable question or two about their season. If he's a music fan, pump him about his favorite groups. Avoid asking him questions he can answer with a simple yes or no.

The most difficult part of any conversation is getting started. Once it's underway, you'll start to relax and feel confidence in yourself. A good conversationalist is able to strike a balance between listening to the other person and revealing her own interest and passions. Remember, this guy is going to be very interested in learning more about you. Don't hide yourself from him.

DAUGHTERS SEEM TO HAVE LESS FREEDOM THAN SONS

DR. WALLACE: Why are parents stricter with their daughters than with their sons? I'm almost 16, but my 14-year-old brother has more freedom than I do. I think it's because girls can get pregnant. Do you agree? A simple yes or no is all that you need to answer my question. — Nameless, Cumberland, Md.

NAMELESS: I can't answer your questions with only one word. I do agree that most parents are more concerned for the safety and welfare of their daughters than their sons. This is true not only because females can get pregnant; they are also physically more vulnerable.

If you watch the TV news or read the newspaper, you are aware that females are the victims of male brutality far more often than the other way around. It's a scary world for young women, especially from a parent's point of view.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Social Drinking isn't OK for Teenagers as well as Adults

DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and disagree with a piece of advice you gave a 17-year-old "social" drinker. You told him to stop drinking completely. Your advice only reflects society's misunderstanding of young people in our culture. Why is it wrong for a teen to be a social drinker, but OK for an adult to be one? Think about that one for a while. — Lenny, Holland, Mich.

LENNY: Who says it's OK for adults to be social drinkers? Not me! The whole world would be a better place to live if it were devoid of all alcohol.

I'll agree that there can be a few positives regarding alcohol consumption. A small glass of red wine can help keep the heart healthy. But the Mayo Clinic in Rochester Minn., says grape juice can be equally effective.

However, the destruction caused by the consumption of alcohol is devastating. When I was a high school principal, I spent time with parents who lost a son that was killed driving home from football practice when his car was hit head-on by a drunk driver. I visited a home where a teen was physically abused by a drunken father, who was wonderful when sober. These are only two of the many unpleasant alcohol-related memories during my tenure as a high school administrator.

I think it is safe to say that everyone over the age of 12 knows someone whose life has been negatively affected by alcohol. The small benefit of drinking alcohol is overpowered by the destruction of human life caused by one drink too many.

TEEN FINDS LOVE AGAIN AFTER A PAINFUL BREAKUP

DR. WALLACE: Please print my letter. It might save some teens a lot of heartache and depression over a lost love.

Eight months ago, the guy I thought was my one and only true love left me for another girl. I was crushed — totally devastated! I cried every night for two months and sank so low that I contemplated taking my life. I was deciding what method was the easiest.

My best friend, who was very worried about my emotional health, talked me into going out with her cousin. At first I didn't want to go, but when she agreed to make the evening a double date, I reluctantly agreed.

That turned out to be the luckiest day of my life. Thanks to Jim and my trust in God, my life is beautiful. Jim is a marvelous human being and I dearly love him. I laugh now when I think of my old boyfriend, which is seldom.

Teens, when a breakup causes you to be depressed and lonely, please remember my letter. No matter how blue you feel, there is someone out there who will make you forget about your misery. Start looking today! — Kelsey, Cumberland, Md.

KELSEY: Excellent advice! Thanks so much for sharing it with our readers. No one says it better than a teen that has gone through a difficult time and become a better person for the unhappy experience.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.