DR. WALLACE: My mother never allows me to have my friends over. I can go to all their houses, but they can never visit me at my house. She's afraid they might steal or break things. I've never seen anyone break or steal anything at another person's house. Sometimes there are four or five friends at a house, but nothing harmful is ever done.

I think my mother is wrong by not having a chance to meet my friends in our house. Do you agree? — Nameless, Moncton, New Brunswick.

NAMELESS: Your mother is making a big mistake, both by depriving you of a chance to play host to your friends and by depriving herself of the chance to meet them.

The mistrust she conveys toward all your friends signals an unhealthy attitude toward life. Wise parents encourage their children to have friends over. Getting to know them is part of the joy of being a parent!

GIVE COMMUNITY COLLEGE A CHANCE

DR. WALLACE: I'm in the 12th grade and plan to attend college when I graduate in June. My problem is that I want to attend UCLA, which is one of the better schools on the West Coast. My parents want me to attend a community college for two years, then transfer to UCLA for my last two years. They also want me to remain at home for two years to help keep expenses down.

I don't think it's fair. Why should I receive two years of inferior education by attending a community college? My parents are not millionaires, but we're also not poor.

What are your opinions on this? — Rene, Santa Barbara, Calif.

RENE: I'm a big fan of community colleges. The courses at these schools are diverse and challenging, and the instructors are excellent. Believe me, two years at a community college will not mean any sacrifice in the quality of your education. You'll be well prepared when you transfer to UCLA in 2009.

TEEN WON'T COPY FRIEND'S SUICIDE ATTEMPT

DR. WALLACE: Jenny has been my best friend since first grade. We are now both in the 11th grade. In the past year and a half, Jenny has gone through quite a few events that have caused her to become depressed.

First, her parents got divorced. Then her boyfriend found himself in trouble with the police; his mother sent him to live in Florida with his dad. Finally, Jenny's dad was killed in an automobile accident seven months ago. She told me she was going to kill herself, but I didn't take it seriously.

One month later, Jenny unsuccessfully attempted suicide by taking an overdose of sleeping pills. My mother tells me to stop being Jenny's friend — she is afraid Jenny might convince me to attempt suicide.

Since her suicide attempt, we have been closer than ever, and I really think I have helped her overcome some of her depression. She even smiles and laughs occasionally.

What can I do to convince my mom that I care about Jenny, but she could never persuade me to give up my life? I enjoy it too much. — Reba, Dallas.

REBA: Tell your mom that Dr. David Brent, a child psychiatrist at the University of Pittsburgh, maintains that healthy, happy teens will never be “talked into” committing suicide. Teens who copy others' suicides are already vulnerable.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Premarital Sex Can be Emotionally Traumatizing for Teen Girls

DR. WALLACE: Why are you so adamant in your opinion that teenage premarital sex is a no-no? Please explain from a girl's point of view. — Hannah, Greenville, Miss.

HANNAH: Premarital teenage sex causes an enormous amount of heartbreak, anguish and emotional trauma for many young women. I've received thousands of letters from young women who were sorry they became sexually active before marriage, and few from those who were happy with their premarital sexual relationships.

VISIT GRANDMA BUT DON'T LISTEN TO INSULTS

DR. WALLACE: My mother died three years ago. My younger brother and I live with our dad and new stepmother; she is nice and we are a happy family.

I have always gone once a week to visit my grandmother (Mom's mother), but I think I'm going to stop seeing her. Ever since my dad remarried, my grandmother has been saying bad things about him. She tells me he physically and mentally abused our mom and never loved her. This is not true. Mom and I were very close, and she never said anything bad about our dad. Also, I never saw evidence of any kind of abuse, physical or otherwise.

Before mother died I promised her I would visit grandma regularly. Would I be wrong if I stopped seeing her? — Nameless, Atlanta.

NAMELESS: It's a pity your grandmother is putting you in such an awful bind. There are times when adults act more childish than kids, and this is one of them.

I think you should keep on visiting grandma — in other words, do the adult duty and honor your promise to your mother — but the moment she starts in about your father, tell her you have to leave. Then leave! Don't even wait for her to finish the sentence. She'll get the message. If she wants your loving company, she will not be allowed to degrade your father.

TEENS NEED TO SPEAK UP IF SOMEONE IS SUICIDAL

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 15-year-old girl who would like to share my story with your readers. Recently one of my best friends told me and two other close friends that she was going to take her life. I was shocked that the other two “friends” didn't think she was serious — they said they weren't going to say anything about the threat.

Even though my friend told me not to tell anyone she was planning to kill herself, I knew that I couldn't keep quiet. After a good cry, I called my youth director at church and explained what was about to happen. Then I discussed the problem with my mother.

That was the best thing that I could have done. Both my mom and the youth director contacted my friend's parents. My friend is now alive and well, receiving professional counseling.

After I told people she was suicidal, I was afraid my friend would never speak to me again; however, after she started counseling, she called and said she forgave me. Her family has thanked me — many times. Even if my friend hadn't forgiven me, I would have been happy she was alive and healing.

Please print my letter. I want all teens to understand that if they hear someone threaten to commit suicide, they should tell a responsible adult who would know how to intervene. Life is too precious not to do so. Under these circumstances, silence can be deadly. — Kim, Ft. Walton Beach, Fla.

KIM: Thanks for your excellent advice. It could save a very precious life!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 10, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teens Should See a Dermatologist to Control Acne

DR. WALLACE: I have a simple question that might require a complex answer. Why are teens burdened with complexion problems? And how can complexion problems be eliminated? — Nameless, Sidney, Ohio.

NAMELESS: Here are the facts:

— Almost everyone gets some form of acne during adolescence, whether it is an occasional blackhead or long-term eruptions. About 5 percent of teenagers develop a severe form of the disease. Generally, girls get acne earlier than boys, and a small number have their first outbreak before menstruation.

— The peak age for acne outbreaks occurs at age 14 for girls and at age 16 for boys. The most severe forms of the disease generally peak three to five years after the symptoms first appear.

— Boys generally have worse or longer-lasting cases of acne than girls. But girls, who are more worried about appearance, seek treatment more often than boys.

— For most people, acne subsides by age 20. For some, however, it does not; the condition may persist into their 30s and even their 40s.

Basically, acne treatment involves measures aimed at: (1) reducing the rate at which sebum is produced; (2) unblocking the canal through which sebum flows to the skin's surface; (3) controlling bacterial involvement; (4) reducing inflammation caused by the progression of the disease.

Drugs taken orally and those applied to the skin may be helpful. Since there is no cure for acne, the goal of treatment is to relieve symptoms and prevent complications. The crucial element is joining a treatment program tailored for each patient by a dermatologist.

One of the most important developments is the availability of antibiotic solutions that are applied to the affected areas; these prescription drugs are effective against the bacteria that can contribute to acne. Topical antibiotics have the advantage of concentrating medicine at the site of the acne without the potential disadvantage of putting significant levels of drugs into the body itself.

Some cases of acne, however, are unresponsive to topical treatments, and in these cases antibiotics must be taken orally. In severe cases, experiments have combined antibiotic therapy with a hormone treatment aimed at suppressing androgen (a steroid hormone).

Many of the cleansing agents advertised for acne are ineffective, apart from the cosmetic value or removing excess oil from the face. Abrasives and astringents have not been proven to be medically beneficial, and some may cause acne to get worse.

Because they are concerned about how they look, acne sufferers may pick or squeeze facial blemishes; this is a potentially harmful habit. Popping and squeezing your pimples not only doesn't help, but also can cause infection and possible scarring.

Even when acne disappears on its own, as it usually does, it can leave behind unsightly blemishes that will not go away. For this reason, even mild cases of acne should be treated under medical supervision. Dermatologists currently emphasize that no form of acne is too mild or too severe to be helped by treatment.

Wise teens seek medical treatment the instant they feel uncomfortable with their complexions.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teens Should Practice Responsible Precaution if Starting a Sexual Relationship

DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and will be entering into a sexual relationship with my boyfriend. Please answer my question; I don't want to hear about being abstinent.

My boyfriend and I have decided we want to expand our relationship by taking it to a new level. Both of us are virgins, so we don't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases; however, I am concerned about the possibility of getting pregnant. That would be disastrous, since my boyfriend and I are planning to attend college together and marry after we have great jobs in our chosen fields — medicine for him, law for me.

I plan to be fitted for a diaphragm. Since I'm under 18, will the doctor keep my visit strictly confidential or will my parents be notified? Like most parents, they would not be thrilled to be told that their innocent daughter is seeing a doctor about going on birth control. — Nameless, Cumberland, Md.

NAMELESS: Since you've thought this through and rejected abstinence, far be it from me to sound the warning that “taking your relationship to a new level” is likely to end it.

The risk of unwanted pregnancy is a serious one — responsible precaution reduces that risk considerably. Rest assured, the doctor will keep your visit confidential.

AUNT IS WRONG ABOUT GIRLS PLAYING SPORTS

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 13-year-old girl. I enjoy participating in athletics (basketball, volleyball, softball) and will continue when school starts in September. My parents are proud of my athletic ability; one or both attend all of my games.

My aunt, mom's sister, keeps telling me that female athletes are not feminine and that I should instead concentrate on music or drama. What can I do to convince her politely to mind her own business? — Nameless, Ames, Iowa.

NAMELESS: Your aunt is misinformed and needs to zip her mouth until she is informed. Sassy Magazine made these observations regarding girls and athletics:

— Teen girls who are involved in organized athletics are 93 percent less likely to become drug users, 80 percent less likely to become pregnant before marriage and three times more likely to graduate than non-athletic girls.

Besides the obvious benefits of receiving regular exercise, which promotes good health, female athletes, on average, have higher grades than girls who do not participate in some sort of organized athletics. I sincerely hope your aunt watched the past Olympics in China where hundreds of feminine female athletes brought home medals for superb performances.

Furthermore, the idea of sports being “unfeminine” is an ugly prejudice of the past that is 99 percent dead and buried. Only a few foolish people still believe it.

EGYPTIANS STARTED NINE LIVES MYTH

DR. WALLACE: Why do we say that cats have nine lives? I love my kitty and I hope she lives a long time. — Amber, Elizabethtown, Ky.

AMBER: Part of the reason cats are blessed with “nine lives” is that they are quick, mobile, agile and highly intelligent. These attributes help keep Tabby out of harm's way.

But the myth of “nine lives” actually came from the Egyptians, who worshipped cats and regarded them as supernatural creatures. The Egyptians placed great emphasis on the family trinity (father-mother-child), considering three a sacred number. As a mark of honor, they began to associate the square of that number with cats. This is how felines received nine lives.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Teen's Parents Should Talk with School Counselor

DR. WALLACE: I received my fall schedule in the mail yesterday. I found out that I have been assigned a class with an English teacher who hates our family. She already has flunked my older brother and didn't give my sister the grade she earned. I went to talk to the counselors at school, but my counselor said she couldn't change a student's class just because the student didn't like the teacher.

How is a student supposed to learn if the teacher has a grudge against his family? What can I do to get this class changed? What I'm telling you about this teacher is the truth. Does our family need a lawyer? — Nameless, Oklahoma City, Okla.

NAMELESS: Counselors rarely remove a student from a class just because the student doesn't like the teacher. If they honored this kind of request, the scheduling process would become chaotic.

Your parents should make an appointment to talk with the principal to explain why it would be in your best interest academically to take an English class from another teacher. A lawyer isn't necessary! The principal's decision is final.

TEEN TURNS HER LIFE AROUND AND IS NOW HAPPY

DR. WALLACE: Please allow me to share my story with your teen readers. I know it will help those who might relate to my once-miserable lifestyle. I am now 20, fully employed as a hairstylist, and engaged to a wonderful guy who loves me very much.

I was 13 when my parents were divorced. My mother gained custody of me only because my father didn't want me. Two months after the divorce, my mother didn't want me either — she dumped me off at my grandparents' house. They are very nice people, but they didn't know how to cope with a young teenager.

They fed me and gave me a place to sleep, but they provided no discipline. I could do as I pleased. I started hanging around with a rough crowd and got into booze, drugs and sex. It didn't take long before I was involved in everything deemed bad — my grades tanked and all I wanted to do was party.

The turning point of my life came three days after I was hospitalized for an overdose of drugs; I honestly thought I was going to die and that scared me. I prayed that if God would spare my life, I would do all in my power to change for the better. Three days after I was released from the hospital, I attended a church near my grandparents' house. It was the first time I had ever been inside a house of worship.

To make a long, sad story happy and short, I met a young man who was the church youth director. He helped me through the rough times and was always there for me when I needed him; this young man is now my future husband. Trust me when I tell you that we will live happily ever after.

The power of The Almighty overcomes everything and brings joy, love and peace where hate, turmoil and self-destruction once lived. — Nameless, Hammond, Ind.

NAMELESS: Thanks for sharing your inspiring story. You emerged from the nightmare of being an unwanted teen. This will surely give hope as well as a sense of direction to many young readers facing similar difficulties.

Congratulations and best wishes for a happy future!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

TWEEN 12 & 20

BY DR. ROBERT WALLACE

RELEASE SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2008, AND THEREAFTER

Sometimes Teens Need to Use Violence to Stop Bullies

DR. WALLACE: I am shocked that you advised a young boy who was being bullied by another boy to strike back and to “punch the bully in the nose.” Are you not aware that violence is never the way to solve a problem? Problems are eliminated with love, open communication and compromise.

Please explain your philosophy of using violence to solve problems. I usually feel that your responses to teens are fair and compassionate. Were you having a bad day when you advised fighting to solve a problem? — Violet, Reno, Nev.

VIOLET: When love, open communication and compromise fail, there are times when a person must defend himself. This is the basis for my philosophy on being bullied: Use the least amount of violence possible to eliminate suffering at the hands of a bully, who is nothing but a coward with a lot of bluster.

Please read the following letter from Scott. It won't change your mind, but it should explain why, at times, it is best to defend yourself by fighting.

To answer your question, I don't have bad days, but I admit some days are a little better than others.

DR. WALLACE: I think it's about time that someone stood up to defend the advice you gave the boy who was constantly being called a sissy. I only wish that your column had been in my local paper when I was 15 — I'm now 20. I had the same thing happen to me when I transferred schools, and it nearly destroyed me.

At that time I was having severe problems at home and had no one to turn to for help. Guys were even tearing me down in the classroom with the teacher present; she did nothing about it. The guys often beat me up after school. I was fat, ugly and had a squeaky voice. The more I tried to ignore what was happening, the more they made fun of me. I was an easy target — I never cried when they beat me up, but I did later.

I'm now in college, but the scars are still there. I've seen three psychiatrists; however, they didn't really help me much. I'm slowly coming out of it, but I've got a long way to go. I don't know exactly how to say it, but I know you are right. If only I had started to assert myself a little sooner. With the guts to stand up for myself, I would have avoided tremendous mental pain. I hardly think standing up for oneself can be labeled as violence.

If this boy took your advice (punch the next guy in the nose when he calls you a sissy and threatens to beat you up), you have helped him more than he will ever know. Please tell him that there's someone out there who had the same problem; I would love to return to the past and punch a few guys in the nose. — Scott, Springfield, Ohio.

SCOTT: Thanks for sharing your views. I detest violence, but there comes a time when one must defend himself when all peaceful attempts fail!

AVOID LETTING HUSBAND DRIVE BABY SITTER HOME

DR. WALLACE: I'm 14 and have just started my baby-sitting career. Is it OK for the husband to drive me home when it is rather late? My dad says yes but my mom says no. Please settle the debate. — Debby, Moncton, New Brunswick.

DEBBY: I agree with mom. Even though instances of harassment or assault are exceedingly rare under such circumstances, it's just not worth taking the risk. The mother should drive you home, or one of your parents should be your chauffeur.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.