Many addicts and alcoholics want help expecting that they never will get high again.
I understand their sentiments. There was a time in my life, too, when the pain and suffering of drinking and drugging were more than I could bear. Desperate, I sought relief and a way out of my intractable spiral in the whirlwind of addiction. Treatment gave me that chance.
But as I and many others have learned — sometimes the hard way — treatment does not offer a cure for alcoholism or drug dependence. The solution requires a lifetime commitment, including vigilance and a healthy recall of the painful past. As difficult as recovery is at times, the alternative is worse.
Dear Mr. Moyers: Why do we still occasionally crave to get high? We have seen and lived the hell of drug abuse and quit many times. My wife quit on her own; I required nine professional treatments for booze and pot and cocaine. What I do not understand is that after many years of sobriety, we both, seemingly out of nowhere, got this desire to get high again. We even have talked about a trip to Amsterdam, Netherlands, just to get high for a week and not worry about the legalities. Neither of us has any interest in the city or culture itself, just the desire to get stoned again. What bothers me is that we have become clean, haven't forgotten the horrors, and raised a clean and sober daughter, yet in our 50s, out of the blue, we want to be high. We recently went to see a Joe Cocker concert. We hadn't been to a concert in more than 30 years. We enjoyed it, but on the way home, we both realized it made us want to be stoned. Is this some sort of midlife crisis we are experiencing? — James B., Eugene, Ore.
Dear James: First things first: Stay out of Amsterdam. A great city, but it is heaven before hell for addicts like us.
Dear Mr. Moyers: I don't know whom else to tell, but I feel like such a wreck. I thought I had it all under control, but I feel as if I'm losing it. Stoned, that's what I want to be right now. Why is this so hard? I'm 20 years old. I want to stay clean, and I have been. It's just … aah! What made you decide to get better? — Marne L., Apple Valley, Minn.
Dear Marne: Hang on. Your toughest day sober is better than your best day stoned. Life throws lots of stuff at us, and for us addicts, the easiest way out of feeling what we don't like is to medicate our minds and bodies. But remember that as soon as the buzz fades, the problem is still there, only usually it is worse. At 35, I finally got clean because my way of dealing with life wasn't working anymore; I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. You're fortunate because you're only 20 and already on the road to recovery. Live in the day, but know that you've got your whole life ahead of you.
William C. Moyers is the vice president of external affairs for the Hazelden Foundation and the author of "Broken," a best-selling memoir. The paperback edition was released in August 2007. Please send your questions to William Moyers at William@WilliamMoyers.com. To find out more about William Moyers and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.
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