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Beyond Addiction

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William Moyers

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Simple Questions, Tough Answers

People struggle to explain to me their problems related to alcohol or other drugs. The result: Oftentimes, they expound in minute detail about their circumstances before finally punctuating their e-mails or letters with the questions they want answered.

But sometimes, it's the other way around, and they drive right to the point, leaving me to struggle with how to keep it simple with succinct responses.

Dear Mr. Moyers: As a 30-year-old man with 10 years of sobriety now, I find myself in a perplexing relationship with a woman who is a wine connoisseur (and beautiful and funny and intriguing, too). For a birthday present, she's just given me a vacation tour of California's Napa Valley, complete with stops along the way for wine tasting. Should I go? — Timothy B., Salt Lake City

Dear Timothy: There is nothing wrong with being involved with a wine connoisseur, provided the passion you share isn't for wine. And as long as you make the vacation about the scenery, not about the cabernet or chardonnay, then go for it. Just remember that for people like us, one sip of wine is too many, and a thousand sips are too few. Take the tools of your recovery with you on the road, and make yourself the designated driver, too. On both counts, the woman in your life will be glad that you did.

Dear Mr. Moyers: On the application form for a term life insurance policy, there's a question that asks whether I ever have been treated for "drug abuse." Technically, I suppose I could answer no, as I don't like drugs and never had that problem. But I did get help for alcoholism about four years ago, and I've been straight ever since. How would you answer the question? — Dan P., Columbus, Ohio

Dear Dan: A lot of us who've cleaned up our acts must confront the reality that our past is still what it is: part of us.
What you don't indicate is what kind of "help" you got for your drinking problem. Assuming it was treatment, I urge you to be honest. If the insurance company refuses your application based on your history, that's better than having the policy canceled later if your past is uncovered, especially if something were to happen to you as a result of a relapse. There are life- and health-insurance companies that accommodate people in recovery. Check with your local insurance broker.

Dear Mr. Moyers: I recently moved to take a new job. Part of relocating has been finding a new doctor to treat my chronic back pain. Last week, that doctor prescribed Percocet. She doesn't know I am in recovery because I didn't tell her! Now I'm ashamed that I was less than honest with her. I suppose it's the old "junkie" in me. I flushed the Percocet down the toilet. What should I do next? — Carole R., Warrenton, Va.

Dear Carole: You must tell your doctor all of your medical history, including your addiction. Keeping it a secret means you're manipulating the truth for a motive that probably isn't pure. Percocet is an addictive narcotic. People in recovery are susceptible to abusing it to the point of relapse, even when it is prescribed to treat legitimate pain. Go see your doctor and tell her you are in recovery so she can monitor your use of the prescription carefully. My hunch is that she'll find an effective alternative. It's called aspirin or extra-strength ibuprofen.

William C. Moyers is the vice president of external affairs for the Hazelden Foundation and the author of "Broken," a best-selling memoir. The paperback edition was released in August 2007. Please send your questions to William Moyers at William@WilliamMoyers.com. To find out more about William Moyers and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.




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Originally Published on Saturday August 16, 2008


William Moyers' column Beyond Addiction is released once a week.
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