Welcome back, congregants. Before we begin today's sermon, let us review last week's riveting exegesis on the stresses and strains of working in an office-like environment. You will recall the spasm of horror that flooded your cerebellum when I explained how your place of business could, at any moment, be invaded by Mel B, aka Scary Spice, and the ex-'N Sync superstar, Joey Fatone, as they work their way across America — terrorizing gentle-working folks like thee and me in their attempt to find a chorus line of co-workers for their new reality show, "The Singing Office."

If you needed a better stimulus to start working from home, I don't know what it could be.

Chances are you really don't need a stimulus package. As Elizabeth Garone describes the dream in The Wall Street Journal, imagine waking up on a workday to "roll out of bed and stumble over to your desk to check your phone and e-mail messages, all the while in your pajamas."

If the idea of working in your pajamas and avoiding the daily hubbub of bumbling bosses and borderline psychotic cube-mates is appealing to you, congratulations — you're well on your way to erasing the Puritan work ethic, which we've been trying to stifle since you graduated summa cum sandbox from kindergarten. On the other hand, if you still question the theory that the road to success runs from the bedroom to the living room, where you spend the workday on the couch watching reruns of "Flip That House," you're not alone.

"It isn't an approach destined for success," writes Garone.

Clay Parsons, executive coach of Alternative Futures, agrees. "The people who succeed," he insists, "will be the ones who take it very seriously."

Since the last time we took anything seriously was when they ran out of crullers at the weekly staff meeting, it's lucky that the bubble busters do provide useful tips on how to succeed while working at home. Unfortunately, many of these suggestions really involve more work than we would face if we actually came into the office; therefore, I have tried to bring a soupcon of common sense to the exercise. Grab your blanky and let's begin.

— Prepare yourself psychologically.

According to Parsons, "working from home is a job, not a vacation from responsibility." Mr. Executive Spoilsport suggests you create a "real office" at home and use it only for official workday activities. I agree. Don't even venture into your "real office" unless you are going to be performing mission-critical, workplace tasks, like gossiping about your manager, surfing the net and napping.

— Take yourself, and your job, seriously.

Since you don't take your job seriously in the office, it's unlikely you'll take it seriously at home. Perhaps that's why Coach Parsons believes it is essential that you jettison your jammies and dress for going to work, even if the farthest you'll be going is to the bath tub for a nice pre-lunch soak.

"How you dress does influence how you feel and how you interact with others," the consultant says, and it's true. Never again will you be just one more drudge on that daily conference call. In fact, you'll electrify the crowd with your enthusiasm, since you know that everyone else on the call is wearing their workday uniforms from Nordstrom's and the Gap, while you're standing naked as a jaybird on the kitchen table.

— Avoid isolation.

In the workplace, getting a moment to yourself is a rare event. When you're home alone, you may miss the pleasures of being stuffed into a poorly ventilated, disease-ridden, spirit-killing morass of rickety office furniture, shoddy computers and cheap carpeting — exuding more deadly chemicals than a FEMA trailer.

The solution is to "address your social needs" by "meeting a friend for coffee, just as you would with office-mates." If you have no friends, be creative. Invite that hunky mailman in for a frank discussion of your marketing plan. He's probably a lot smarter than your supervisor, and there's no tiresome HR rule about sexual harassment, even when you're playing post office.

— Acknowledge your successes.

Clearly reporter Garone has had little workplace experience, since she suggests you'll miss all the office-wide praise and camaraderie you never had in the first place. But I do agree you should celebrate. Starting the workday with a six-pack of Blatz is a great way to acknowledge your accomplishments, even if you accomplish nothing more than going back to bed.

Bob Goldman has been an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@funnybusiness.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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