Q: I am 61 years old and in the process of getting a divorce from a man I was married to for 35 years. To put it mildly, the divorce is rather ugly. My husband says he is going to prevent me from getting his Social Security. His lawyer is trying to put a clause in our divorce decree that says I won't have access to any benefits on his Social Security account. Further, my husband says if I fight this, he will simply never apply for his Social Security to keep me from getting anything on his record. (He really doesn't need Social Security because he has a lot of old family money.) But I need to get part of his Social Security because I never worked outside the home in my life. My husband didn't want me to work. He wanted a full-time maid and housekeeper! Is there anything I can do about this?

A: Yeah, you can dump this Neanderthal as quickly as possible and don't worry about his threats to keep you from getting his Social Security. He can't do it. Even if his lawyer adds that "no access to any of his Social Security" clause to the divorce decree and you sign it, the clause won't be worth the paper it's printed on.

Federal law says if you are divorced after being married to a man for at least 10 years, and if you are at least 62 years old and still unmarried, you are eligible for divorced wife's benefits on his Social Security record. No silly words he scribbles into the divorce decree can override federal law. So don't worry about that.

And his second threat: "I'll never apply for Social Security," is also an empty one. In fact, a specific law was passed in part just to get around shenanigans like those your husband is trying to pull.

Normally, the rules do say that a wife can't collect benefits on a husband's Social Security record unless the husband is getting Social Security himself. But to protect women from the kind of stuff your soon-to-be ex is trying to pull, they wrote an exception for divorced women. The law says you can receive benefits as a divorced wife on your ex's Social Security account even if he does not receive Social Security himself. He has to be old enough to be eligible for Social Security, at least 62, but again, he doesn't have to be getting benefits.

So, tell Mr. Wonderful to add any Social Security clauses he wants to the divorce decree. Then sign those papers and kiss him goodbye. On second thought, forget the kiss!

Q: In a recent column, you advised a woman to notify the Social Security Administration when she gets married so they can change her name in government records. My husband-to-be and I are both in our 70s and getting our own Social Security. I don't plan to change my name. We plan to keep separate bank accounts and we plan to keep all our other records in our own names. So why do I have to tell the government about my marriage?

A: Because you agreed in writing to do so when you applied for Social Security. One of the "small print" items on the application form you signed was an agreement on your part to notify the Social Security Administration of any changes in your circumstances, such as a change of address or a marriage.

If you don't plan to change your name, the government certainly can't force you to use a married name in your Social Security records.

But some day — hopefully, some day well in the future — one of you is going to die first. And the surviving spouse will be due the small Social Security death benefit, currently $255, but also potentially more valuable monthly widow or widower's benefits. And you will get those benefits a lot quicker if the government knows ahead of time about your marriage.

To find out more about Tom Margenau and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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